I am trying to be more produtive this year. I am reading a book that Danelle got me which is an LDS scripture based workbook and guide of AA's 12 step program. It helps us recognize that there are many things (not just alcohol and drugs) that are "addicting" and separate us from God. I hope that I will be able to grow closer to Heavenly Father and perhaps overcome some of my negative issues. I also set up my old computer in my room, so even though it doesn't work that great, perhaps I will write more.

I also found two items that I had started quite a while ago so I created blogs to post them and hopefully I will continue to transcribe them into the computer so I can get them posted and printed. Grandma Throckmorton's book will be a real challenge but I will try and keep at it. It has been years since I read it so I will enjoy reading it again. The Book of Mormon Journal was written between 1999 and 2006, I hope it doesn't take me 7 years to get it typed into the computer!! The links are on the right top corner of my blog.

The weather is beautiful here in Phoenix, But as usual I have not been out much in it. That is one thing I want to change about myself. I want to be more "outdoorsy" to be out walking and hiking etc. As I typed in some of grandma's journal today, she talked about how she loved the outdoors and everything about it (sun, wind, rain etc.) but that her sisters were just the opposite. I need to remind myself whose child I am, and get out there!!

The Key

A couple of years ago I wrote two poems for Christmas so I thought that I would share them with you. The first one I'm posting is called The Key. So here it is.

The Key
Once upon a darkened night
all men slept unaware
that into their lives a glorious light
would this very eve appear

The sheep outside the city grazed
upon the thin sparse grass
as shepherds’ drowsy eyes far gazed
into starry skies of glass

When suddenly a sound was heard
and breath was held with joy
as angel voices spread the word
Of Mary’s little boy

Hark! The melody rang out
in tones of cheer sublime
Listen to the trumpets’ shout
echoing through all time

Nature paused and bowed her head
honoring Salvation’s birth
and cries of hope from all her dead
burst forth throughout the earth

Hosanna! sang each fettered heart
the chains of sin’s dark grasp
soon would fall and all step forth
the Key had come at last

His kingdom he has come to claim
Stem of Jesse’s rod
blessed be His holy name
Christ Jesus, Son of God

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second is a little longer and I titled it:

.

From Whence Came That Sound?

From whence came that sound? He drowsily asked
As he was roused from his midnight sleep.
Was it the cows? Or a lonesome howl?
Or the bleating of restless sheep?

From whence came the sound that awakened me?
His patience was wearing thin
Don’t they know that I have to work?
He yawned, as he scratched his chin

He rose from his bed and rubbing his eyes
He wearily got to his feet
From whence came that sound? He questioned again
But even the dog was asleep

Some sound has disturbed my brief, lowly rest
And drawn me out of my bed
From whence came that sound? He asked himself
scratching his tossled haired head

Shuffling to the window he searched for the source
And surveyed the darkened site
A hush of almost perceptible weight lay heavy
In the pastoral night

The fields lay barren, and stillness prevailed
Thus proffering no clues at all
The trees shivered soundlessly in the pale moon light
Their shadows cast puzzlingly tall

It was only a dream, he consoled himself
And thinking of his day ahead
He wearily stretched and quickly
returned to his warm and comfortable bed

But the inquisitive mind of this humble man
Would not afford him his rest
From whence came that sound? He mused o’er and o’er
The answer his only quest

From whence came that sound? He spoke aloud
But his voice now seemed out of place
Somehow where familiar clamor once reigned
A peace permeated it space

He opened his eyes and in amazement beheld
The shadows were fleeting and stray
I’ve forfeited my rest in the answerless quest
For this light surely heralds the day

Slowly he rose and dressed for his work
And falteringly stepped out the door
Wearily he knelt for the tools of his trade
And when he arose from the floor--

His eyes caught a glimpse of the heavens above
And a glorious scene he beheld
A concourse of angels radiating splendor and light
Streamed out through the thin parted veil

He sank to his knees and trembling in fright
The sound came afresh to his mind
Fear not! Declared the voice of pure peace
Its tone so piercing yet kind

Good News! For this night is the promise fulfilled
The Messiah has come to the earth
The handmaiden of God has just travailed
And the Son has been given birth

Angels and nature united and sang
In harmony sweetly sublime
Hosannas to the most high God
Resounded in each vale and clime

Tears streaked the face of the simple man
As he sat in wonder, awed
To hear the sound of joy proclaim
The birth of Christ his God

I found this very funny video for those of you who are Twilight fans! Enjoy and have a good laugh!!
http://www.take180.com/s/ep5l7

Saturday was such a beautiful day!! Cool, refreshing, breezy, we reveled in it. We opened the doors and windows and turned off the air conditioner. That afternoon we went to a park so Charity (and her friend Tatum), and Grace and Jonathan Robert could play and we could just enjoy the weather. Here is few pictures taken there. There was a water feature there for the kids to play in and despite the cool breeze the kids all got wet and played until their teeth chattering got too bad. It reminded me of swimming in Idaho as kids--blue lips were expected.

The Giver

I just finished The Giver by Lois Lawry. It is definately a book that I will have to ponder and think about. I'm certain that there are lots of gospel parallels especially in regards to the plan that Satan put forth. But also to God's plan specifically that there must be opposition in all things. To know joy there must be sorrow, to know comfort there must be pain etc. and how can we learn from experience if 1st there is none and second, there is no memory of pain/guilt/remorse etc. and for the reciever once he had those memories and experiences, there was no going back. As we mature and become adults, we can't go back and be the naive, carefree children we used to be--we are changed by the memories etched in our minds and by the choices we made because of our experiences.

the following is a response to a prompt I pulled from my journal jar.

"Describe your first home or apartment--as a young couple"
Marvin and I first lived in his parent's house, out on the family farm. His parents had not had much success for a number of years and were finally forced to give up the farm so they sold it for a dollar to Marvin's older brother Elden (to avoid foreclosure) and moved to Phoenix Arizona where there were good paying jobs for dad. It was a small rectangular pink brick house with two bedrooms and one bath on the main floor. The house faced west but all the activity was through the back door. There was also an unfinished (but framed out) basement. The living room was small, a fairly narrow rectangle with a couch across the north wall (which pretty much filled the whole width of the room, there was enough room for an end table I believe). The front door (west side) was rarely ever used because all of the parking and the rest of the farm (the garden, sheds, chicken coop, barnyard etc) was out back. The house sat on a "hill" which elevated it a little from the surrounding irrigated acres. It sat back away from the paved county road at least three or four hundred feet (a half a block or so) The narrow hard packed dirt lane that lead back to and circled the house mound was rendered impassable each spring when the rains fell and the snow melted and the ground thawed. It was easy to get stuck up the the doors of car in the mud. During those times the tractor was the only way in and out. Marvin moved to this farm when he was five years old. His father had been awarded the land in a homesteading give-away/drawing to veterans to open the north side of Rupert to farming. A great irrigation project/experiment was put in place and the land divided and distributed. It was nothing but desert, they cleared the sage brush, rocks, rabbits and coyotes off the land and spent the next fourteen years scratching out a living. The house was slow in coming but well appreciated when it was done. The basement held shelves filled with hundreds of jars of canned goods preserved by the sweat of the brow. One section held the freezers and the meat processing equiptment because hunting and butchering livestock that was raise to sustain the family was part of everyday life on a farm. The boys slept in the unheated basement as the bedrooms upstairs were for their parents and little sister. After we were married, Elden let Marvin and I take the master bedroom and he slept in the smaller one. We lived there until our daughter Danelle was born at which time Elden had found the girl he was going to marry and with his wedding coming soon, Marvin and I started looking at apartments. In a small town there wasn't a lot to look at, but we were very lucky to find a nice two bedroom duplex. (Believe me after one of the other apartments I looked at, it was the fabulous.) But that is another story.

I really enjoyed conference and I'm looking forward to re-listening to some of the talks. I want to listen again to Elder Corbridge's talk on Sat. afternoon about how living any other way than Christ's way was maddness.



I have been reading more and while I haven't read any great books I read some that I have enjoyed and that are thought promoting. I read a lot of "self help" books trying to figure myself out and trying to find those magic formulas to make me love to exercise and eat right and to be more productive. The most recent one I read was called "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. It is a non religious book that helps us realize that what ever is going on in our life is "what is" and how we can accept and trust that God is in control and release our negative thinking and align ourselves with the truth in our lives and learn to live in peace. I have developed some insights from this book. I am starting an LDS preceptive book "Forgiving Ourselves" by Wendy Ulrich but haven't got too far yet. I just read the first two Harry Potter books (I know I'm behind the times) and just started "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. I am rereading "Running with Angels" which is by an LDS mom and how she lost 100lbs and ran a marathon. I read a chapter or two of Persusion by Jane Austen and will be returning to that soon.


One of the things I did a couple of months ago was to buy a new computer. It sure is nice not to have all the glitches that my old one had developed. I believe that the old one just needs to be wiped and reloaded and everyone asks me where my restore discs are and I tell them the computer didn't come with any. I need to contact the company this month because I bought an extended warranty and even though I think it is a software problem, maybe they will provide the restore discs. Anyway with this new computer I learned something that was so easy but just didn't know how to do and that was how to "rip" my cd's to the computer. How simple was that!! Just open your windows media player, put your cd in the drive and click on rip! Sometimes if it was the first one I had to click on rip again and tell it to "rip the cd in drive E" but after that, every cd I put in was ripped automatically. I bought some head phones ('cause I was jealous of Holly wearing their big ol' headphones). I listened for a couple of minutes, enjoying the bass, then went to nap because I had to work that night. In the morning when I got home from work, I came to the computer and found that someone (a little big brown-eyed curly top girl) had taken the scissors I had used to open that extremely theft-proof packaging on the head phones and had snipped the wires into about nine or eight pieces!! Good thing I went for the $10.00 pair from Ross (a discount store) rather than the $80 ones I was thinking about at Sam's Club!! :) Not a big deal, just a reminder about being mindful of a child's curiosity and desire to try out their SKILLS.

This girl has "scissor" SKILLS!

Jonathan Robert with his new toy, taken yesterday. 10/4/08

Here is Grace on 10/04/08, she is such a cutie and Oh those Eyes!!

This is Charity last month on her first day to school. 9/2/08.

Gosh! It's been a while! I'm not sure why I haven't been posting, part of it is a sense of perfectionism in that I guess I want what I write to be poetic, or moving, or at least not to waste your time. I also haven't been taking any pictures so even if I thought I should post, then I think, I don't have any pictures to post with it. So blah, blah, blah, so much for excuses.

In the last two months since I blogged, lots of things have stayed the same but of course in other ways my life has changed. First, Holly, Jonathan, Charity, Grace and Jonathan Robert have moved in with us and have brighted up our lives. We all love having them here with us. Marvin especially likes the little ones and this chance to get to bond with them. Speaking of Marvin--He quit smoking 2 months ago and just this week finally said, "It's still hard but I'm going to make it." Every other time if I checked in on how he was doing he would just moan and lament on the desire that constantly pressured him. He has used alcohol to help but he says, "now, I'm going to stop drinking. I don't know when yet, I've used the beer as a crutch while I quit smoking, but once I know I'm free of the cigarrettes, I'm going to do it. It will be easier than the cigarrettes." I was so moved by this hopeful statement. I truly hope he can be successful. My concern is that unless he replaces these habits with something, he will just slip back into them. He currently does nothing except watch tv.

I haven't changed, I still think about and plan to diet and exercise but haven't started yet. One of the speakers this morning in General Conference quoted a marathon winner as saying "the commitment to win is nothing with out the commitment to prepare" I think I keep focusing on the winning and not on the daily, hourly, moment to moment preparation needed for the goal to be realized. It makes me marvel at Marvin's will power to quit smoking, when I can't quit eating the wrong things.

Christmas is rushing towards me and I haven't done any planning, or any made any handicrafts to give away. I do like to sew, cross stich, crochet etc. and would like to give something of myself this Christmas but it won't happen if I don't get busy. I had started some "red-work" embroidered dish towels last year after visiting my brother and his wife. She is from Scandinavian descent and is deeply involved in their culture. I thought that this form of embellishing the dish towels was cute and not too time consuming, but even so, I haven't completed any yet, but have all the materials to make a set or two.

Well, I least this is a start and hope to return to posting regularly. Thanks Marilyn for the sweet reminder. Love you all.

Hi again. Monica and family were over for dinner on Sunday and I took a couple of pictures of Morgan because she got her hair cut for her first day of high school. She already looked older than her age and now I think she looks even older. She sure is growing up fast. I also am posting a picture of Dillon cause it was his birthday. Happy Birthday 10 year old! Then just so he won't feel left out I will post a picture of Denver too.

I love to go to Goodwill and Savers and peruse the book racks. Today I scored "Suite Francaise" a book I have been going to buy for a year because it was listed on a must read/best book list, a copy of Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass: A Selection of Poems and Prose" AND "A Pretty Good Joke Book" Guess which one I started reading?

Here are a few of the old standard one liners---

My pig learned karate--now he's doing pork chops

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.

Is there another word for synonym?

Did you know that half of all people are below average?

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?? He sold his soul to Santa!

and finally: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
The same middle name!

My cousin usually posts a meaningful and inspiring quote on her blog but maybe I will just post a joke from this book!! I am actually terrible with jokes, I can never remember them!! but this book gave me a laugh today.

Monday again

I'm sorry that it seems like I can't write more than once a week. I worked last night and now that I had a short nap maybe I can function a little. Today is my mother's 78th birthday. I wish I could be up there to see her. I haven't got to see her this year, with preparing for the wedding and changing jobs I didn't get to take time off for a visit. Danelle went up and visited her this summer and says she looks great!! I know she has been exercising and has lost weight and she was always blessed with great skin so I'm sure she looks much younger than her age! I hope Danelle posts pictures soon, but I know that Danelle is also wrapped up in uncertainty--job change, moving, and school starting. They must move by the end of the month but Vincente will not be elegible to post to a new store (where he will be Senior manager) until Sept 1st so they do not know where to move or stay yet. It's too bad that things didn't work out for them to stay in their home for another month, but we all have faith that the Lord will provide and guide them to where they should be. I hope it can be closer to us but most of the store openings seems to be further east at this time.

Marvin is still staying strong in the quitting smoking attempt but every day that I ask he just seems like he won't be able to hang on much longer if the desire doesn't start to ease off. On Wednesday it will be two weeks since he essentially quit, with no easing off of the intense desire to smoke.

Holly and family should be arriving in another week or two, I'm not sure when yet and if you read her post you know that her car has died---one more obstacle in an already overwhelming month.

Monica's kiddo's started school today, I hope they all liked their new experiences--Morgan started in High School and Denver in Middle School.

Pictures from spring break

Monica uploaded her memory card to my computer Sunday and she had pictures from her trip to Texas to visit Danelle and Aimee. I thought I would try once more to upload some pictures since I couldn't upload any yesterday when I tried 5 different times. So here are a couple of the pictures she took.

Monday news

Hi, first of all Susie called and got the report of her Ultrasound which was "unremarkable" Yeah!! She will still go and see her Dr on Wednesday but it appears that there is nothing to worry about.

Second, Breaking Dawn I'm sure most of the die hard Bella Fans have finished the book by now but I don't want to spoil it for any who are still reading. I really did enjoy this series, it is fun to share the romance of love. I read several blogs that were angry or disappointed in this last book mostly because of their "gimme a break" comments on the course of events (as if reality had anything to do with this book of fiction). Considering her target audience is teen girls I vote for Stephanie Meyers choices on how this last book plays out. I mean who wants reality in a fairy tale anyway, teen girls just want swept away in the dream of happily ever after and personally life will, all too frequently, bury that dream under the weight of every daily living soon enough. So from under my own pile of ##*X I loved the few hours I got to spend in love with Bella and _______ (I won't tell whether it was Jacob or Edward).

Holly, just called and said that Jonathan recieved a job offer here in Phoenix so it looks like they will be coming in two weeks. I'm excited to have her and the kids here. Marvin really enjoys the kids too!! Now we just need to figure out how to get her down here.

Denver and Dillon spent the night last night. They like to stay and grandma's not because of grandma but because I have cable TV and high speed internet so they love to flip channels and play games. Dillon is going to be in fifth grade!! and Denver just turned 13!! Wow! Morgan will be a freshman this year! Of course all of my grandchildren are growing up too fast and for that matter all of my children too!!

Well just wanted to let you know about Susie and also Holly's news. Love you all Deanna

July 30th

Hi, I've pretty much spent the whole day messing around on this new computer and with my camera. I found a site that did what I always said I needed some one to do. Just to go step by step though the controls and in plain English show me what to change, set etc. !! I had so many things not set right that I now have hope for great SOOCS (straight out of camera shots). Before the pictures were always "washed out" (overexposed) on the Auto settings and apparently that is a common problem with Nikons, and I always had to tweak them in their photo program before I would want anyone to see them. Now, hopefully they will start out great. I haven't loaded my Photoshop Elements 6 yet but maybe later this afternoon I'll do that. I thought I might post a few more of the BearLake photos. Like I said I didn't take many but I wanted to post the one of Eric and I couldn't find it yesterday when I was posting.

Susie went for an Ultrasound this morning and will see her Dr. next Wednesday. Here last CT scan showed some possible fluid in her abd. so they are checking it out. It is so scary for all of us.

Today was Marvins quit date for smoking (he started taking Chantix a week ago). I think he is doing pretty good, however, he did buy cigarettes when he went to the store this morning and his pack is still sitting out by the back door (ie he didn't toss everything to avoid temptation) BUT I have not seen him smoke today and I have been here all day. So keep him in your prayers, I know he will feel so much better once his lungs recover some,--his coughing episodes can get pretty darn hairy at times.

I'm making chicken and noodles for dinner per Marvin's request. I had better get busy and do something around the house. Love you all.

Family Reunion

Hi all, sorry I took so long to post but my computer was down. My monitor had died and then I was working so I didn't get right on replacing it. Any way, I know all of you are waiting for some pictures from bearlake. I didn't take a lot but I did get some. I'm glad that Sarah was conscientious about getting photos of each person there. I look forward to her pics. It was a very nice weekend. I didn't get to go up and see my mom though because of time restraints. Danelle went though and said that grandma looks great!! As I had said I would in my previous post, I used the drive time to read (and also snuck some of the weekend to read also). I was able to read all three books in the Twilight series and I am looking forward to Breaking Dawn's release. I do have to admit that I am tired of Bella's whining and fit throwing and wonder what there is about her beside her smell that Edward fell in love with!! Anyway Here are some pics from Bear Lake. Hey Trista, comment again on this blog so I can get your address again (the worse part of a new computer is having to reload everything.) I'll write again soon, maybe even today but I need to have a break from getting this computer set up and running 4 hrs is tooooo long. Love you all

Vacation Day 1

I just got off of work and so am FREE until Wed. night of Next week!! I have a lot to do today to be ready to leave early tomorrow morning for Utah and the family reunion. I am just so excited to not have to work for a week!! My daughter Aimee started a blog yesterday http://www.weimerlife.blogspot.com/ and my daughter Monica started one last week at http://www.ohellimeanhello.blogspot.com/ and of course my daughter Holly has a blog at http://www.sparklebrightly.blogspot.com/ It is fun to keep up with everyone's activities this way and get to see pictures too!!! I will be seeing all of my family Friday so I'd better get busy so I won't be late!! I can hear that Marvin got the mower running for me so the lawn awaits me!! See you soon :)

By the way, Denver sent me a link to one of Margaret's Bridesmaids photos which has photos from Margaret's wedding and a link to Margaret's Flickr account because she will eventually post photos too.

Suzie's (the bridesmaid) account is -http://picasaweb.google.com/redzipstar/MargaretSteveSWeddingWeekend

Margaret's flickr account is http://www.flickr.com/photos/margejames

I Got Music!

I have spent the entire evening listening to playlists on random blogs and then figuring out how to put a playlist on to my blog. I hope you like the music, I'll try to remember to go in and rearrange it once in a while so you don't always have to hear the first song over and over. I laid around all day and now it's after midnight and I have church in the morning and work tomorrow night, so I'd better put myself to bed.

I'll see you all soon (except for you sweet Aimee. Did you get your blog started? I haven't gotten any notice yet.)

Denver, I checked out your beautiful daughter's wedding pics. It all looked perfect and I loved the colors and flowers she used.

8 days and counting

Eight more days until we leave for the family reunion. Danelle is stressing out because her car has been giving her some trouble, Holly's car has been overheating as well. Danelle will be driving up from Texas by her self with the 5 kids and then Vicente will be flying up so it is scary to be on the road by yourself with an unreliable car!!

I went and bought a few more things for crafts for the reunion. I found two bags of tie-tacs with a "snicker" bar logo at Goodwill, (80+ tacs) but we can glue something on top if that to make custom tie-tacs or brooches/pins. So I bought some little lizards for the boys to glue on, also the clear glass flat "stones" that we made refrigerator magnets out of for Susie's wedding will also work on them. I also got some things for the scrabble tile necklaces, just need a little more ribbon or cord for the necklace part. I already had some craft wire for rock pendants, and tons of key rings if Danelle brings her lanyard stuff to make key fobs. I picked up some more beads/glitter stuff to put into the bracelets for the girls so I think we are about ready. So there will be plenty of different crafts to choose from. Holly has bought the noodles for the soft swords and I will pick up the PVC and the pipe insulation up in Utah so I don't have to haul it all the way.

I work tonight and tomorrow night and then again on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Then I don't work again until the week after the reunion on Wed, Thurs, and Friday. Because I started at a new company I didn't start earning paid time off for 60 days so I didn't have enough time built up yet. So it was great that my manager worked with me so I can have almost the whole week off. I still feel very comfortable with this company. It still feels like the patient is the main focus and not the paperwork or the cost, so that is great.

I'm pretty sure that Marvin is going to come. He told Holly he was coming, now just to see how he feels when the time comes to get into the car. Twice in the past he has come up "I just don't know what it is but I don't have a good feeling about going" and then stayed home. (He did tell me he thought someone tried to break into the house one of the times) So I just don't know what the day will bring.

I think that I had better read Stephanie Meyers "Twilight" series on the drive because I'm beginning to feel like the last person in the world to read it.

Here is a picture of the bracelet, lizard, tie-tac/pin and the glass magnets. I haven't made up a stone pendant necklace or a scabble tile necklace yet but we have directions that we printed off the web for them.

Monica's Birthday

Monica came over today and we went shopping for a birthday present for her. We went to Kohls unfortunately, they no longer carry sterling silver charms for her bracelet but I was thinking about getting her a new pair of sunglasses for our reunion trip. We ended up finding a pair of capris and the sunglasses and a hat. (all on sale or clearance--SCORE!)

For dinner, I had looked around at The Pioneer Woman site http://thepioneerwoman.com/ and found some new recipes to try. (A couple of months ago she had a contest and to enter you gave a favorite recipe) She got over 5000 entries! I chose a recipe for Lettuce Wraps (my daughter Danelle makes them frequently and her family loves them), A recipe for crab puffs (rangoons), Fried rice and then "Smores on a Stick for dessert. It required a lot of chopping but Monica and Morgan helped and the meal was delicious, Allen even had Monica type up the crab puff recipe for him. I also made a Seseme Ginger dipping sauce, and a peanut butter dipping sauce. We all liked the Seseme Ginger sauce the best.

Brian looked very handsome tonight!

Monica's boys have been playing with the soft swords/boppers (see "refocus" 2 post ago) all night so I think it will be a good craft for the boys at the reunion. Holly, I will put the money in your account if you want to go ahead and try to find enough pool noodles at the dollar store up there. I think 20 would be enough (2 swords per noodle). I was thinking if they have a lot of 2 different colors then the teams could be made up by the color of their sword, blues against reds? other wise we could tie head bands or arm bands of different colors to make up the teams. If you look now, if you have trouble finding them, I will have time to get them here. Monica's boys are spending the night tonight and they are still chopping each others legs and arms off!!

Monday again!

Good morning, I just read one of my daughter's (Monica's) first blog on her new blogsite and of course it brought guilt upon my head, because again it has been a week since I blogged! I reread my last blog and what a jumble of unrelated stuff! I guess I could have at least made paragraphs!!
I have today and tomorrow off Yeah!! I have so much I should do in this house, but like always, I probably will only barely touch the surface. Instead I'm sure shopping and computer grazing will win out over housecleaning. Today is Monica's birthday so I need to plan dinner and maybe an activity to do with/for her today. We could go over to Susie's swanky apartment and use their beautiful pool/BBQ area but Susie doesn't get off work until 6:30 pm so that is pretty late.
I have been pondering on which book I will read on the drive up to the reunion. (One of my favorite parts of a trip is letting Marvin drive and getting to read the entire trip!!) I started the trilogy "Kristin Lavransdatter" (which I had read and enjoyed about 25 years ago) but when I got to the night when the young teenage Kristin makes the emotionally immature choice of her future path by binding herself to the handsome morally weak rogue instead of accepting the more honorable and suitable man chosen by her father for her, I had to close the book!! Having read the book before I am acutely aware of the path of heartache she was binding herself to with this choice, and it made me so upset I had to walk away instead of taking the journey with her again. I'm sure I will pick it up again because while I really don't remember many details of this Nobel Prize winning novel, I do remember fondly the feeling of enchantment, of being transported to another time and place--but I'll have to prepare myself first. Oh how we need to pray about the major decisions in our lives, we need the Lord's knowledge and foresight! Our earthly selfish desires and limited vision can so easily take us onto paths that lead to heartache. (and even then, how many times do we continue down the path because we subbornly persist in doing what WE want and so set aside and refuse to listen to (or even refuse to seek) the Lord's counsel!!
I have also discovered that this is a different translation from the one that I read before. I can remember being so immersed in the "old English" language pattern, and the thee, thou, thy pronouns etc. I found it difficult not to speak like that when I stopped reading. This translator wanted to modernize the language which she felt was too flowery and to be more true (in her opinion)to Sigrid Undset's style of writing. I would have to have both translations available and also the original Norwegian text (and be able to read and understand all of them) to say whether that was true. Oh well! So I am thinking that my book choice will be "The Poisonwood Bible" which I have started once but haven't read yet and at 500+ pages is long enough to get immered in and to transport but much less than the 1100+ pages of Kristin Lavarnsdatter.
I have got to get busy so bye for now!!

Refocus

Here is a picture of my sweet Charity!

And one of Gracie

And a couple of silly kids who I love!

I just reread my last post and saw the date!! It's been almost a month since I blogged!! I am on the computer almost everyday and I think about blogging but I just haven't felt inspired enough to write anything creative, and while I originally thought I would journal here (and we all know how therapeutic journalling can be--letting your frustrations and disappointments flow out and dissipate) but I realize that this blog is more about keeping connected to my far flung family and friends and is not a creative writing showcase or journal therapy session so I guess I will just write alittle about what's going on in my life. The Family Reunion at Bear Lake is just around the corner and I am getting excited to see everyone. Danelle and I have been trying to come up with a good craft that would be appealing and inexpensive for the boys at the reunion. (the girls will be decorating flip-flops and making bracelets) I have bought the stuff to try out a soft foam sword for some medieval fighting but the center of the pool noodle looks awfully small for the PVC pipe to fit into for the handle. Well, I thought this is silly to still be wondering if it will fit when I have all the material right here so I checked and even though it looks small it does fit. So I will make one up and try it out. I also took a break and went to Bath and Body works to get some aroma therapy!! I have been mourning not being able to see and smell the lilacs this spring. I used to have a lilac candle but alas no more. I didn't know if they had any lilac scents but I just thought I would get something. I was so thrilled when I saw that they carried a lilac room scent!! They were also having their semi-annual sale so I picked up a few other scents also. Coconut Lime Verbana (one of my favorites), Cucumber Melon, Allspice-Nutmeg (for this fall), and a Cinnamon Clove (for Christmas time) on clearance for $3.00 each. I remember my sister-in-law telling me once that when she cleaned--she burned a scented candle and that it helped her focus on completing her task. I also find that music helps me clean so I bought myself a CD today (I spoiled myself today) I have read/heard several people rave about the soundtrack from "Wicked" so I bought that to try. Hold on----I put it in to play right now so I will hear it for the first time with you. I do have the book on which the Musical is based and I started it a year or so ago but then it got put down and I haven't ever finished it yet. (it did have some sexually charged parts as I remember which kind of turned me off to reading it) I have only heard good things about the play though. Wow here I sit, visiting with people I love, surrounded by the scent of lilac and listening to Broadway music!! I grew up with a huge lilac tree/bush in my front yard and I can't say how many hours I played under its fragrant branches. The shady area under it didn't grow grass so it was our "sandbox" so to speak (even though it was only dirt) I remember creating streets and towns for our cars, and digging with my brother's "steam shovel" that he recieved one Christmas. So far the music is good but I'm sure I will need to see the Musical so that not only will the music be fun it will bring with it a remembrence of a wonderful night out and experience. Well, I'm going to go and make one of the soft swords, I'll post a picture as soon as I get it done.

Permission to Live

I was sitting and watching TV (a rerun in fact, how lame is that?) and a young girl was being interviewed about her talents and when asked how many songs she had composed she said "47 - It's easy!!" (I remember writing as being easy but I just haven't tried for a while). Then as I flipped the channel a young woman with cancer was talking about her life and she said "we all live in a terminal condition" but that having cancer gave her the "permission to live". So here is a little musing from that.

Permission to Live

"We all live in a terminal condition" she said

and yet, I squander the precious moments

I whine and peruse the dark cloud above my head

And if it doesn't rumble and sprinkle a little rain on me

I proceed to make my own and shed a few tears

(in order to justify my continued attentive care)

I dwell in my cloud alone, lonely with my daydreams

of what I will do --someday--when this or that occurs

But nothing happens so I go from day to day ineffectively

imitating life. Wanting more, but unwilling to change.

Unwilling to open my umbrella and boldly stroll out

into--what? A deluge?- or - sunshine and rainbows!

"Give yourself permission to live" she said

"But what about___?" I whine. "I can't do that!" I protest

"I have that anchor chained to me, more than one in fact!"

"Well then, you need to row a little harder don't you!"

"You'll never know if the next stroke of the oar would

be the one to set you free if you don't try!"

"A person should be the leading lady in her own life"

says the movie. So give up that supporting actor role--

that "who am I to think I could be a star?" mindset

As Nelson Mandela said--"WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE?"

Give yourself permission to live! And not only to live

But to soar and laugh and lift and serve joyously