DS at the well

April 20th walk

2010-04-20T19:18:00.000-07:00

I worked last night and was going to go the same park after work as I did yesterday but then decided to come home and change and go to WW. I made it as far as home and weighing in on my own scale and decided I would give it another day before going to weigh in, I need to see a loss for my motivation and as everyone knows who has tried to lose weight it is a up 2-3 lbs one day and down 2-3 another and while I understand water weight and hormones and that I need to look at the long run it still is fun to see the loss on the official stamp! Anyway instead of taking a nap I just vegged all day, dozing on the couch watching tv and late this afternoon I did put on my shoes and start to head out but decided I would just walk on the treadmill instead. And I got my new fancy-schmancy pedometer in the mail today. So I walked for 30 mins and per the pedo I took 3975 steps and walked 1.5 miles. I know I have a lot to go to reach 10000 but I don't think it will happen today but I did make it yesterday. I hope to do my core, upper body and lower body workout also but I know I'm going to crash soon plus DWTS and AI are on. LOL It's almost time to start watching, I don't start until the show is more than half over so I can skip through all the blab and commercials and catch up right at the end!! Love that DVR!

Here's a link to my new pedometer hope this works I suck at adding stuff to my blog.
Well, I'm getting frustrated, it shows in my post but won't show when I publish. Any way you can see it on Amazon.com it is a OMRON HJ 303 GoSmart Tri Axis Pedometer.

2010-04-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

Good Morning, I didn't do too well this weekend with my walking, I missed Friday, rode my bike on Saturday with Holly but didn't take my camera and then missed Sunday too. But as soon as I got off work this morning, I went walking at 59th and Thunderbird. It was overcast and a little gray this morning as you can see from this first picture.

This reminded me of a wedding band placed in the bridal bouquet.

I walked for 30mins, per my pedometer (which worked this am and didn't fall off) I walked almost 3500 steps or 1.65 miles. Hope you all have a great day, love you all.

April 15th walk

2010-04-15T10:19:00.001-07:00

This is looking up into one of the huge pine trees, This one is so full of pine needles that it blocks out the sun, several birds flew out so they probably have nests in there.

A neigbors poppies

The view of the park from my house

In my own yard looking up and out.

Good Morning, I spent all my free time this am planning my walks, looking up parks etc. I made a list of about 23 places that aren't too far away to go walking at each day. I printed them up and cut them apart and put them in a jar to draw from. I then promptly drew the one farthest away and I don't have time for that this morning, I have to work again tonight and need to get to bed. So I ended up just going out my front door and walking in my own park. No fun wildlife, just birds but I did find 11 cents!! Anyway, here's a couple of pics of todays walk.

Daily (hopefully) Walk

2010-04-14T12:11:00.001-07:00

Thought I would post picture from my walk today and thought it might be inspiring (to me) to post one for each day's walk. So here is a couple of pictures from my walk though Cave Creek Wash as it travels from Greenway to Bell (at abt 9th Ave). It has an improved bike/walking sidewalk so not really like hiking but got to see some wildlife. I saw 1 butterfly, 1 squirrel, 2 quail, 2 bunnies (one a baby) 1 coyote, 1 humming bird, 1 lizard, dove, sparrows and assorted other birds. I got a pic of one of the bunnies but missed the coyote (well actully tried but it didn't turn out). I think I walked about a mile and a half but I was bummed cause the pedometer I clipped on today didn't work so not sure how many steps. My expensive pedometer keeps popping off of my waistband and pops the battery out when it hits the ground so I lose whatever info was on it. So I tried this little one that came with a walking Dvd I bought last year. I think I'm going to have to buy a more expensive one that will read even in a pocket or a purse (and that comes with a secondary tether so even if it comes off your waistband, it doesn't fall) It was a nice day out today and hope that I can commit to increasing my activity and decreasing my portion sizes. I have been kind of off the wagon for the last two weeks so trying to recommit. Hope you guys have a great day.

Book covers and dishes

2010-03-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody, I know it has been a while but I guess I had the winter doldrums. I have been promising my mom that I would show her what she got me for my birthday, clear back in January so here it is. I have been trying to lose some weight and joined weight watchers after much pleading by my daughters who are enjoying success with the program. I had been wanting some new plates/dishes and had been looking for a smaller plate to eat on since that is one of the recommendations from most weight loss sites. Anyway I found these dishes and really liked the butterflies. I like to think of myself as a butterfly flying free after years of being a caterpillar. LOL So here's a pic of my new dish set.

I also wanted to show this easy but cute craft I did to give to my visiting teaching ladies. This month the lesson is on strengthening our faith through personal scripture study. I found a tutorial on how to make these book covers on a blog called U-Create at (http://kari-youcanmakeit.blogspot.com) (I tried to make this a link but I can't seem to do it. It inserts it in my copy but doesn't put it in the finished post so I guess you'll have to manually enter it) They were quick and turned out really cute. You just pick whatever scrapbook paper you like and a paperback Book of Mormon (or any book) and before you know it this is what you have.

Aimee and family are coming next week for spring break, I can't wait. All of my grandchildren are getting so big, Bailey is 20 and Isabelle will be 17 this month! Jonathan Robert (my youngest is 3 and is "Not a Baby!"). I'll try and post again sooner and share some pictures from their visit

Silliness with the Halloween candy

2009-11-02T12:59:00.000-08:00

Last night at our Sunday family dinner, Susie and I played with the left over halloween candy. One of the candys I purchased to hand out this Halloween were these whistle pops. The results was the silliness that follows. Just a glimpse into life at the Sunday dinners.

Also since I posted twice today be sure and check the previous post with the winners of the Halloween literary contest winners revealed!

2009-11-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

Del is head-over-heels excited about winning October's contest.

Chris James also won for his creative entry, way to go!

It's official! Del won for the best entry in the Halloween literary contest, and Chris James won the all entry drawing. Thanks for entering. It is so much fun to read your entries!!! You can read all of them by view the comments on the last post. Monica had some cute Cookie monster stories and Susie entered a cute poem too. I am thinking of a new contest, probably something related to Thanksgiving or gratitude and will let you know soon what it will be.

Here's Del's entry:

The Day of The Dead
and past Halloweens,
The best years are gone
and never more seen.

I've fond memories
of the Good Ol' Days,
Far more simple TIMEs,
free and CARELESS ways.

HYPERVENTILATE,
racing door to door.
Fill my pillow case,
always wanting more!

Witch with black nails from
CUTICLE to tip,
Dark GREEN PASTA hair,
fat mole on her lip.

Zombie, SKATEBOARDer,
HUFFALUMP, and ghost.
Look! COOKIE MONSTER,
he scares me the most!

At home with my Queen
and three little ogres,
I fall asleep smiling
in my FOUR-POSTER,
Dreaming of Harleys
and '32 roadsters.

A SMART man knows while
simple times are past,
The memories made
then will always last.

When the Day of The Dead
dawns in my hallowed den,
I may not be as
young as I was then.
Remember these words
and I'll find my Zen;

When Mister Owl speaks,
yes, the whole world stops.
"Only three LICKS kill
a Tootsie-roll Pop."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!

And here is Chris's

The old gray mare let out a snort,
With the echo of the rifle’s report.
The air was crisp, the night was dark,
The hunter’s aim had missed the mark.

In the woods a flash of something GREEN,
This was no place to be on Halloween.
Undaunted, the men knew this was the night
The mysterious HEFFALUMP would be alight.

The group pressed on for a while,
Like a manicurist pushes a CUTICLE file.
The Heffalump was dangerous and SMART,
But the men smelt his silent but deadly fart.

The chase was on as they galloped to the stream,
Till the horses’ started at a blood-curdling scream.
Big Bird had been CARELESS and gone on alone,
Now he lay on the ground like a big yellow stone.

His insides looked like PASTA,
And Elmo just lost it.
While Oscar drank one for him and his homie,
This is where our poem gets corny.

Bert and Ernie beat a quick retreat
Back to Sesame Street.
Only one dared remain,
COOKIE MONSTER was his name.

Cookie splashed into the stream,
Like a chocolate chip dream.
This ball of blue fury
Had a Heffalump to LICK and bury.

The Heffalump was big like a FOUR-POSTER bed,
With SKATEBOARD wheels weaved in his dreads.
Cookie charged on, till the beast did HYPERVENTILATE,
He knew this was the TIME, he must not be late.

He reached for his chips ahoy,
And smacked that macadamia nut
Upside his pistachio.

Then he followed it up with some milk in a glass,
And that’s how he kicked the Heffalump’s ____.

Another Contest

2009-10-12T15:56:00.000-07:00

(Just a fun picture to ask "What are you going to be this Halloween?")

Hi all, I'm finally going to start the next contest. So here is the contest. Write a halloween story/poem/essay/whatever using the following dozen words somewhere in the story (which were collected from those family members present at the last contest drawing and by opening a book and blindly placing my finger on a word).

Cookie Monster, cuticle, lick, hyperventilate, green, smart, Heffalump, four-poster, skateboard, time, pasta, careless

Hope you have fun, the entries will be judged on Oct 31st with the 20 dollar prize going to the one I judge to be the cleverest. "ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" (wicked witch laugh)

New contest.

2009-09-12T15:38:00.001-07:00

Sorry I have taken so long to post a new contest but here it is for your creative perusal. It is a multi-parter and I will draw for the winner(s) as I just couldn't decide last time who was the most creative because they all were!!! So let the creative juices flow!!!

1. (Monica's suggestion) Decribe yourself through the medium of alliteration.

2. Fill in the blanks "It was so_____________ that____________________!!

3. List what you believe to be the five most beautiful words in the English language.

Have fun and help your little ones have fun. Contest will end September 26th and I will draw the winner at Sunday dinner on the 27th.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

2009-08-03T08:33:00.001-07:00

THE CONTEST WINNERS!!

Hi, had Sunday Chicken Noodle and dumpling dinner yesterday and picked the winners of the writing contest. We enjoyed our evening, I played Apples to Apples for the first time and we watched old family videos that George and Nancy put onto a DVD for me. How fun to see my beautiful family from the "other side". When it was happening, I was so often overwhelmed, I'm sure I didn't enjoy and love them up enough. Now seeing my little babies all still lap sized I just wanted to grab them up and smother them with kisses, even (maybe especially) Scott who was pouting with his back to the camera the entire way through one of the videos, (I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, I'm sorry you struggled so with being a middle child, but you are my first born son and will always be special!)

Trying to judge the contest was especially difficult, All the entries were fun and since I LOVE you all, I wanted everyone to win. I wasn't a very good judge--I couldn't narrow it down so I declared a tie between Del and Monica. The Random drawing was won by Grace. And I awarded Holly a gift for her outstanding writing even though it wasn't really what the contest was about. I LOVED READING EVERYONE'S ENTRY AND THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL SO CREATIVE! We must strive to do something creative everyday! To that goal, I am going to have another contest, but I have to decide on the details, it will probably be writing of some sort again but not necessarily. (I love Monica's picture gallery where they took one theme (light houses) or one object (flower in vase) and had everyone draw it.) So watch for the details to come soon, maybe even today.

The winning entries were:

DEL"S:

1.) With a voice hoarse from screaming, and fingernails caked with earth from clawing the ground, Earl spies the sign that reads; 'PLEASE DO NOT annoy, torment, pester, plague, molest, worry, badger, harry, harass, persecute, irk, bullyrag, vex, disquiet, grate, beset, tease, nettle, tantalize, or ruffle the animals' and realizes that dangling the corndog in front of the alligator was not the greatest idea for a good time.

2.) It has been commonly accepted for centuries that they numbered twelve, so the shockwaves are still being felt throughout the world as we find more proof of the thirteenth and fourteenth apostles, Rick and Bill, the Twins of Pagreha.

MONICA'S:

1.) I hate the saying home is where the heart is, since I don't have one thought the scarecrow.

2.) "He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he love me not" Carrie always thought she would love to come back as a flower until she bloomed and was carelessly destroyed on a young girl's whim.

The random drawing winner-Grace:

(Grace's story. Age 4(Her words exactly) I think it's cute how many (and)s she uses.)

There was a pretty princess and a prince and a witch, and the evil witch put the princess in the castle, and the witch was able to dance with the prince, and the witch's friends were Jealous. Her friends noticed that she put the princess in the castle and they saved the princess. Than the princess was able to dance with the prince, and they lived happily ever after.

Special award for outstanding writing: HOLLY

The nurse had a tear on her cheek as she brought her in to me, all bundled in pink.The nurse was like a saint to me during the 16 hours of hard labor full of complications. The baby had showed signs of stress. And now here she was being placed in my arms. "Oh," startled as I looked at her for the first time, "she's so beautiful." I didn't expect her to look like an angel! Oh her hair! Her dark, full head of hair and her creamy completion makes a beautiful contrast to her dark hair. She's so perfect. I adored her precious lips, and smelled her perfect new baby smell as I cradled her in my arms. Her skin felt so soft and I counted her cute tiny toes and fingers!"She looks just like she's sleeping." I whispered, I didn't expect that. Well, they told me she would, but Oh, I can almost imagine her breathing, as I looked at her perfect angelic baby face and chest. "Oh God, please, please." I started to cry out. My very soul started to quiver in grief. "This precious baby. My miracle baby. I can't, How can I live without her? God Please!" was my cry into the night as the realization of death hit me. Like a tumbling mountain rolling over me crushing my soul as each stone laid their heavy weight upon the pile leaving me... breathless.

End of the contest and some pictures from trip.

2009-08-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Here's a picture of Alex, isn't she turning into a beautiful young woman!!

Her body is changing as she blossoms into a stinky preteen LOL :)

She had alot of fun taking pictures, but I think she makes the best picture.

On our way to Mount Rainer we found this fun HOBO INN made out of old train cars. Alex took this picture and it is one of my favorites

The next day we went into Seattle to the Pike Marketplace here's a picture of one of the many many wares available there

There were lots of fish and shellfish

There was a giant brass piggy bank--

And several street performers, The guy down at the end of the sidewalk, played his guitar behind his head and while he was hula-hooping

Saturday Scott took Dad down to the pier to fish and crab. Unfortunately all they caught were a few undersized Crabs, but it was fun.

Thanks Scott and Kim! (FYI Josh was in Montana with his other Grandparents)

Here's my pretty MaMa. Pretty spry for an almost 79 year old!

Kim has posted more pictures of our trip to visit them on her blog so check them out at http://kimnscottonthespot.blogspot.com/ (you can click on their link in my sidebar)

Thanks everyone for your creative entries. I am having a hard time choosing the winners I am in my usual Saturday slump (I work every Friday night and then end up laying around all day Saturday) But hopefully my brain will be in tip-top condition tomorrow for the final judging and I will let you know tomorrow who is taking home the prizes..

Aguilars!!! Where are your entries??? Love you all

clarification of contest

2009-07-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

After talking with a couple of my daughters I have decided to clarify this contest. The $20 prize will go to the person with the most creative entry as judged by myself and whoever else I consult. As further incentive I will have a random drawing prize of all the remaining entrys as I want to encourge lots of entrys and not to discourage anyone who is not feeling too creative. I am going on vacation next week and it has been requested that I give you all plenty of time to enter so the contest will end July 31,2009 after I get back. You can enter as many times as you want and each entry will be considered for the judged prize. However, the random drawing will be limited to one per person who entered. (you must enter at least once to be in the drawing). I had fun writing my creative sentence and I know you and your family will have fun too. This could generate alot of laughs as a family home evening activity. Try looking through magazines at pictures as a way to get started, as I did with the picture Dennis posted. Have your young non-literate children tell you a story about a picture etc. HAVE FUN! This is just a little activity to keep the brain cells humming over the long summer.

Please check the previous post, July 4th, and read the comments, Holly has already posted two outstanding entries. Don't let this easy money pass you up.

A fun literary contest

2009-07-04T15:17:00.001-07:00

The Bulwer-Lytton Awards For 2009
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2009.htm

I found a reference to a fun and funny literary award and found these outlandish story first liners that were submitted for this years' contest of the Bulwer-Lytton Awards (named, if you don't know, for the guy who wrote the line that Snoopy always used: "It was a dark and stormy night."). I'm thinking it would be fun to try and write our own quirky, fictitious, adjective filled, tangential, irrelevant "opening sentences". So I thought we could have our own little contest, with a $20 gift card for a prize. I want everyone (especially all of my grandkids so mom's and dad's help them out)to submit something. Put on your thinking caps, sharpen your pencils or exercise your typing finger and start writing. Anyway here are a few of my favorites from the real contest, You can read more by going to the link above.

From the miscellaneous section:

1.There were earthquakes in this land, terrible tsunamis that swirled flooding torrents of water throughout, and constant near-blizzard conditions, and not for the first time, Horatio Jones wished he did not live inside a snow globe.
Rich Buley-Neumar
Amityville, NY

Adventure:
1.Runner-Up

In a flurry of flame and fur, fangs and wicker, thus ended the world's first and only hot air baboon ride.
Tony Alfieri
Los Angeles, CA

Detective:
1.Winner: Detective

She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.
Eric Rice
Sun Prairie, WI

1. Winner: Fantasy Fiction

A quest is not to be undertaken lightly--or at all!--pondered Hlothgar, Thrag of the Western Boglands, son of Glothar, nephew of Garthol, known far and wide as Skull Dunker, as he wielded his chesty stallion Hralgoth through the ever-darkening Thlargwood, beyond which, if he survived its horrors and if Hroglath the royal spittle reader spoke true, his destiny awaited--all this though his years numbered but fourteen.
Stuart Greenman
Seattle, WA

2. Runner-Up

Towards the dragon's lair the fellowship marched -- a noble human prince, a fair elf, a surly dwarf, and a disheveled copyright attorney who was frantically trying to find a way to differentiate this story from "Lord of the Rings."
Andrew Manoske
Foster City, CA

a "dishonorable" mention:

She expected a beautiful morning after the previous night's hard rain but instead stepped out her door to a horrible vision of drowned earthworms covering the walkway -- their bodies curled and swirled like limp confetti after a party crashed by firefighters.
Rita Hammett
Boca Raton, Florida

To get us all started, here's an offering from me, inspired by Dennis' 4th of July pics and comments on facebook.

She quickly and flirtatiously climbed on top of the bright red, gaily wrapped tower, her unruly perpetually bad hair day blond tresses flowed out from under the not so attractive broad brimmed Panama hat, a remnant of a spring break weekend from her distant but not forgotten past (well mostly forgotten except for the hat) she wondered curiously what that green rope like thing sticking up was as she surrounded it with her long unbending legs and giggled nervously as the flickering flame approached--unaware (like the blond she was) that she had mounted the Fourth of July finale firecrackers!

Happy Birthday USA

2009-07-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't blogged in a long time so I apologize, I just got home from work and of course sat down at the computer with my breakfast (raisin bread and milk) and after purusing the days news etc on yahoo home page---here I am.

I am off work until next Wednesday night then I work 6 of the following 7 days (my choice) so I can go on vacation the following Wednesday. I will be driving up to Idaho to visit my mom and should get there on Thursday the 16th. I will stay there until the next Tuesday when we will drive to Nampa/Boise and visit his brother for the evening and then fly out Wednesday am to Seattle to visit with Scott and Kim for a few days. We will fly back to Boise on Monday am and start for home and then back to work on Wednesday the 29th. I am ready for a vacation as I am sure you all are too.

I colored my hair back to brown. Orginally, I was shocked by my blond hair when Susie last colored it--prior to her wedding over a year ago, but afterwards I was worried that by going back to brown I would be losing some of the "lightness" in my countenance but I really like it, and like one of my children said "there's my mama" I thought "there's Deanna!" I tried to take a picture of my hair but the pic at the beginning is about all I can get in, cause my arm is too short to get any farther back and I don't know how to set the timer LOL

This picture really shows how red my face is because of the rosacea! I didn't try to warm the picture up like I did with the first one.

I just took almost all of the color out of this one just to get rid of the red!!but sadly it really accents my wrinkles!!

I guess I posted these pictures because I read a photo tip once which was "Mom get in the picture!" We mom's mostly don't like getting our pictures taken "too fat" "no makeup" "hair not done" etc. etc. but our kids see us everyday and they know how we look and they would like to see us in pictures sometimes so here I am--warts and all.

I still really like my new Washer and dryer. I am waiting for my new utility bills to see how it affected my gas and electric bills.

I'm hoping to go see the musical "Wicked" this week, I haven't bought a ticket yet but I plan on just driving over there one of these evenings and seeing it. They have a $25 lottery for some decent unsold seats just before showtime and failing that I'm pretty sure I can still get a balcony seat at the door.

New washer and dryer

2009-06-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

Hi,on Monday my washer decided it didn't like to spin fast anymore. I'm sure it probably could be fixed but trying to get anything fixed around here takes forever or else I have to hire some one to do it. Anyhows that's what I told myself when I started shopping on craigslist for a replacement. I spent all day hunting and calling eventually going out to see a couple but the ad that caught my eye was for a 1 year old set that had been only used for 6 months by a snow bird couple. I was hesitant because it is a brand popular in New Zealand but not well known here--Fisher and Paykel. It is an energy efficient set which works alot like the front loaders but is still a top loader. The dryer is also a top loader as well and has cool features like every four minutes it reverses itself to untangle the clothes. And because the washer spins so fast the clothes are dryer when they go into the dryer it drys faster. It is a gas dryer and I have always used electric, currently considering the cost of electricity and the fact that I am on one of those saver rates where the cost of the electric is like 5 times higher from 9am to 9pm I really started to consider switching to gas. I have gas in my laundry room but the line for the dryer is on the opposite wall so I never considered switching because I thought the cost to bring it over to the dryer would be prohibitive. But after talking to Brian and Dennis I was convinced that connecting to my existing gas waterheater line (already right next to the dryer) would be easy so I agreed to switch and I am excited about the possible savings. I have just finished my first load and I was blown away by how soft and fluffy and unwrinkled the towels came out. It said you could probably forgo fabric softener and I think I could! Anyways, before buying I tried to find reviews etc online about this brand and what I read online is that when they work, everyone loves them but that repairing them is an expensive nightmare of getting parts and qualified service people. So I don't think that I would have bought this brand if I were buying them new, but since I am getting a great deal on them I decided to go ahead and try them out. Brian and Allen came over to go and pick them up for me and install them. Thanks guys!! Now, after buying new living room, kitchen and laundry room furniture/appliances I need so much crap hauled away out of my house and back yard it is unbelievable. And most of it is big 2 person items so I can't do it on my own. The city cleaned the alley 2 weeks ago, but everybody was busy with their own lives and activities so I couldn't get any help to move the stuff out and I was working etc. so a bunch of stuff that could have gone didn't. Now it continues to pile up :(
Here's a pic of my new washer and dryer, I had never seen a toploading dryer before, it's kind cool but I'm going to miss the "counter" space on top where I piled the towels and set the laundry soap. I should have taken a picture of the insides cause that's where they look so different, but I'm washing and drying at the moment and the lids lock shut. I just went to change the laundry but the dryer lid is still locked until it cools down. I realize that a locking lid could be a potential problem if you wanted to get something out or toss one more thing in. I will have to read the manual! LOL

Fun family day

2009-05-30T22:32:00.000-07:00

Susie and Micah got us all together today on a hiking/swimming/fishing trip up to West Clear Creek. Holly and family had not ever been there. Monica and Del and kids and Brian and I drove up there this morning and had a wonderful picnic, hike and swim. I really like to go here because its an easy hike. (No mountains to climb) plus depending on where you stop along the creek, you can swing on a rope swing out into the water, shoot through a rock slide, swim in a pond or cliff jump. The rope swing spot is so popular we don't usually stop there because of the number of people, Our favorite spot is the rock slide. We set up there for our picnic and the big kids and some of the adults made forays to the other spots. It was a nice day, sunshine interspersed with fast moving treatening clouds at times. At three o'clock a dark bank of clouds threatened so we decided to pack up and head home. Here are a few pics and hopefully a video. I didn't take many pics but Monica and Holly took many more so I hope to get their SD cards downloaded to my computer soon too.

Denver and Dillon
Monica and Grace Charity on the rock by the water slide/shoot that the kids play in---OK OK even I shot the slide. Jonathan Robert was fearless from the beginning. He'd shoot the slide run around and leap right back in until he was too cold to stay in anylonger Micah and Susie with their new dog Buddy at Sunset Point

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T14:47:00.000-07:00

dessert!!!

A pcture of seven of my children and most of their (maternal) first cousins
front row Katie, Marissa, Emily and Sarah 2nd row: Scott, Clint, Allen, Susie, Holly, Danelle, Melissa, Joanna, Amber, Brian and Monica, Back (stabbers): Eric, Sean, Nick and (little) Chris.

My beautiful daughters L>R Monica, Aimee, Danelle, Susie,and Holly!

Just thought I would share some thoughts about being a mother on this official day of honoring mothers. I have willingly traveled into the "valley of the shadow of death" seven times. (I have eight children but I didn't know what I was doing the first time!!) I was pregnant or nursing approximately 16.5 years of my life! Yet now that all eight of my offspring are grown--that time, which seemed so eternal when I was in the midst of it, is now fading to a distant memory. My role as mother is different now, no more knee deep piles of laundry; no more hours in the car chauffering; no bed that started out with just me and the baby and ended up with me and every child under the age of 12; and no more do I lecture, beg, or even scream in utter frustration. But no more do I get to cuddle, caress, comfort and console the child who was bruised by life; delight in childish pictures, stories or dances presented so proudly, or rock to sleep even that child whose legs hang off over the arm of the rocking chair and who tested my strength to carry them to bed. Yes, life is definately different. My time is pretty much my own, (except that time devoted to providing for myself) I have boxes and cupboards full off materials, yarn, craft and sewing projects etc that I have collected over the years with the thought of someday--and they do call to me from time to time--but mostly I am just still, content to listen to the silence. I know that I need to get moving and reinvent myself. I have to decide who I am going to be now that there are no overwhelming pressing demands on my time, and my children are independent. I realize that I have had to disconnect myself from many people and dreams over the years, first from my immediate family when I married and moved to Arizona, My children barely knew their grandparents or aunts and uncles. My younger brothers and sisters grew up without me around and married and moved on with their lives and we saw each other every year or two for a couple of days. My husband took a job that kept him out of town for most of the first 25 years of our life, and took up early in our life with his best friends "Coors and TV" so even when he was home he wasn't home. So my kids were my life! and they weren't perfect! (beautiful yes, perfect no) My time and activity were spent with them, I didn't cultivate friends, (its hard to be LDS and not have the perfect LDS family) Marvin wouldn't socialize and with eight children it was too expensive to go out anywhere so my sphere has been my children. Then the separation, one by one with my children as they matured and started their own lives. Now today, my children are my best friends, but now they are busy and overwhelmed and I just nod my head and remember (been there and done that). So motherhood is different for me now and I imagine it will change again when my children are also freed from the day to day business that accompanies raising a family. I guess what I most need to do is to reconnect with some of the people I let slip away during all those years of child rearing and refocus on relationships and not just the getting from day to day frenzy of the past. I know I need to start with my own mother, who is, as is the way of the world, getting older and thus my time with her is shortening and uncertain. So, I guess this Mother's Day I will start by making a commitment to call or write to my mother at least once a week this year. To try and be more open in sharing my life with her, (not just the good parts) When you try to hide things even if you are trying to protect others it makes it hard to be close. Now I can't even remember all the things I tried not to share with my mother either from embarrasment or to protect my pride or thinking it better that she enjoy her beliefs that all was well in Zion. It seems so silly because now I don't have a close relationship with her because I shut her out of those many years of trying teenagehood of my children. So mom get ready to hear from me more often, I want you to know me and I want to get to know you too. Love...

Cinco de Mayo and more wedding pics

2009-05-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Had all the kids and grandkids who live here in Phoenix over for dinner last night. I usually do Sunday dinner every other Sunday (on the Sunday I don't work) but for the last couple we have gone over to Holly's new house so Susie called me Monday and asked if we couldn't have dinner here because she felt like she hadn't been to my house in 'forever'. So we gathered to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I made two huge pots of Pozole (way too much as it turned out) Pozole is a bland pork (or chicken) soup with hominy and then numerous dishes of add ins (onions, avacados, lime juice, chili powder, oregano, eggs, tortillas, cilantro etc.) are placed on the table so each person can create their own spicy luscious bowl of soup. I also served cucumbers, mangos, and jicama spritzed with lime juice and chili salt, and an orange-mango juice drink and for dessert we had strawberry shortcake with whipped cream. I had found some really fun dishes last Saturday and then bought some more colorful bowls and placemates so it all looked fun. I downloaded some upbeat mariachi music to add to the ambience. Marvin complained but he was overruled so it played on during dinner.

After dinner, the men watched sports and talked, Allen plays fantasy sports and Micah joined into his group so he was busy creating his team etc. The women went into the front room to talk and Susie couldn't wait to play with the new organ and create a masterpiece. Morgan joined in and the two of them created some interesting music together!

I watched some of Dancing With The Stars and couldn't believe that they voted little Kim off, she is SOOOOOO much better at dancing than Ty but of course Ty does have a very likable charm but he is just so stiff just not fluid at all.

For you DWTS fans did you know that Derek Hough and Mark Ballas have a band and they released an album in March? I didn't so I guess I really wasn't much of a fan but anyway it is the Ballas Hough Band (BHB). Interesting trivia I also found out was that Derek and Julianne went to London when Derek was 13 and Julianne was 10 to train and live with Mark's parents Corky and Shirley Ballas. They lived with them for a number of years training and going to an academy for the arts I suppose like Julliard here in the USA.

Allen spent the night as he needs a ride to do some errands, his car still won't pass emissions, he needs to fix another part, but he has been layed off for about a month and had only worked part time the months before so he's pretty strapped! He is going all "Joachim Phoenix" on me and has grown this full beard. Its the rough scruffy neck hair that looks so bad to me, I don't know if I've convinced him to at least shave the neck yet. It makes him look so much older (and not better in my opinion) Here's a picture from a week ago.

Susie got some more of her wedding pictures so thought I would post a couple more in honor of her upcoming 1 year anniversery. I've tried twice to add more pics than these but it failed both times so I will just publish these at this time.

I have a new musical instrument!

2009-04-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to get an organ to practice and learn how to play the bass pedals on for a long time and have been checking out Craigslist for months. I wanted to wait until Holly and family were in their own home and I had more room but I had been to see several but had not made any decision. Last Friday this beautiful and fairly new organ was posted and I called right away and then after work in the morning I went and saw and bought it. It is a Roland AT80R Atelier it has a fantastic range of sounds/musical instruments and since the lower keyboard is a 76 note keyboard you can set it for piano, set initial touch and since it even has a sustain pedal you can play most piano pieces on it too. It is electronic so I can wear headphones and practice anytime I want without bothering Marvin or his TV watching. There are several You-tube videos of people playing fantastic arrangements which sound like a whole orchestra playing. I won't be doing that anytime soon, it is rather overwhelming but it's going to be fun. It has a floppy disk so you can record your compositions, a microphone so you can sing along and can be connected to other Midi devices or a computer if you know how to do that sort of thing. This is not the "church" organ I was looking for but I think it will do and I will enjoy it.

I also finally recieved my replacement computer. After trying to give me a downgraded basic computer as a replacement, they came through with another Acer with 640gb harddrive so it is a bit better than my orginal 500gb one. So now I just need to get everything reloaded and up and running.

I reloaded the Zune software Friday and then Saturday -which, (for those of you who don't know) is the mother of all yardsale weekends here in Phoenix. I stopped at one close to work where the man worked in the music industry and was selling a box of CD's for a dollar many had not even been open. I was able to find 20+ most of which were ones I had previously downloaded from Zune (but don't own) so was excited about owning. (Neko Case, Adele, Oren Lavie, Sting, Yael Naim, Five for Fighting, Enya, Indigo girls, Great Lake Swimmers and more. So I had fun ripping them to my computer but I was interrupted before syncing to my Zune by the smell of smoke! So I'll probably do that next when I am done with this post.

I have to work again tonight so I think I'll sign off today and will try and post again this week. Love you all.

GIve a man a blow torch......

2009-04-19T11:28:00.001-07:00

This is a cautionary tale. If you give your man an incinderary device he will not use is "as directed" While the weed burner Marvin begged for over a month to recieve advises "there is no need to actually set the weed on fire but just to steam it and it will die. Marvin believes in a scorched earth policy. after steaming the weeds and overgrown patches of grass last week. He had to make sure they were dead by going over them again in the middle of the week, and then to reach his final scorched earth policy, he went out again Saturday morning to give everything another blast and in the process set the house on fire!! He did not notice it immediately, it was only hours later when I kept insisting that I smelled something burning did we discover that a corner post of the house was smoldering. We managed to get it all out but I worried for a long time about reports of a fire smoldering for days before breaking out in actual fire. I even got up twice during the night to check for smoke or warmness on the wall. I'm not sure whether the post will need to be replaced or if it is still intact enough to maintain its integrity, but I'll have Brian check it out when he gets back from his weekend fishing in Yuma.

2009-03-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

I had a wonderful time with my children and grandchildren during spring break. Danelle and family and Aimee and family came from Texas so only Scott and his family were missing. The sisters had a great time reminiscing and all laughed long and cleansingly hard. We had a cornbeef and cabbage feast with huge reuben sandwiches for dessert (only the men could consume those!) The kids went hunting for the leprecauns gold (instead of an easter egg hunt) since this is when they were here. After visiting several parks and finding gold bags full of candy and scattering a few pennies in return for the leprecauns to find (so they will be sure to come back next year) we returned back to our own park across the street for a family soccer game and then another feast. This one the Cafe Rio pulled pork salad a recipe that Marilyn had posted on her blog. It was a big hit except the diehard mexican food lovers (Vince and Dennis) stated that while it was delicious, it was NOT "mexican" food despite the tortilla and the Rio in the name. We finished up the evening playing Scattagories. The cousins also had a great time reconnecting. Both Vince and Dennis are considering moving back to the Phoenix area which would be great! But of course there are a multiplicity of other factors that would have to be considered before making that decision.

Holly and Jonathan will finally be closing and recieving the keys to their new house this week possibly by Tuesday or Wednesday! Finally the underwriting is finished and the papers are at the title company. They are so excited and ready for this move. We will miss them a lot. Especially Marvin, he is so attached to the kids and especially Jonathan Robert. He loves playing with him and at 2 and 1/2 JR is delightfully fun to play with. Even his mess making skills are developing. Last week, Marvin laughingly tells me that JR had crushed a pack of crackers and scattered them on the floor. Holly was admonishing him as she got out the vacuum and was vacuuming up the layer of cracker crumbs. Jonathan Robert thought she was enjoying herself so much (he loves to vacuum) that he went and got another pack and was following behind her, crushing and tossing more cracker bits in the wake of her clean sweep.

I have another incentive to get on the bandwagon and lose weight. My work company (Hospice of the Valley) is sponsoring a "Biggest Loser" contest. Which will have cash bonuses and prizes for losing weight. While these prizes pale in comparison to the TV shows booty, it should be fun! and any incentive to get on and stay on a healthier lifestyle is welcome. Weigh in is tomorrow. The contest runs in four 12 week sessions--so for an entire year. Bonuses of ten dollars per each 10 pounds and a $200 prize winner each session are offered. I am getting out that book I started in January (Danelle gave me an LDS focused 12 step book "He Did Deliver Me From Bondage" by Colleen C. Harrison) which Danelle, I and Aimee were going to work on it together but everyday life got in the way and we didn't manage to hammer down all the details of our meetings---so as usual, I didn't follow through with reading and working through the steps. So here's a big breath :0 as I open it and dive in again. I want to learn to love walking and exercise! I want to find love and comfort in something other than food. I want to be (and look like) an active, fit person

Denver (my brother) has scanned in pages of my grandmother's book so that instead of taking all the time to type it into the computer, I can just proof read and correct the mistakes that the software translator might create when it reads the scanned pages and translates it to a word document. It will be much faster and I plan to do quite a few pages today so look for a new post this evening in the ACROSS THE YEARS link at the top right of my blog.

We have really been having some beautiful weather here in Phoenix!! This is the time we all love and the reason why we put up with the LOOOONG hot summer!

I'm going to close and get started on something else so--until we meet again, may God be with you!

March 12

2009-03-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

I am so excited. Aimee called this morning and they have changed their minds and will be coming for spring break next week. Danelle and Vincente and family are also coming so its going to be wonderful. Both families should arrive this Sat evening unless plans change. Danelle started a new blog yesterday and I imagine she sent everyone who read my post the email with her address but just in case I will list it here: http://www.lafamiliaaguilar.blogspot.com Can't wait to see pictures and here about the day to day family dealings. I have to go now but just wanted to let you know what's going on here.

Scott in hospital

2009-03-01T14:29:00.000-08:00

Scott called and he has appendicitis and is in the hospital. They have called a surgeon in but Scott doesn't know yet when the surgery will be---Today or Tomorrow. If you need a number or address let me know and I'll give it to you.

Sunday night addendum: Scott had laproscopic surgery this afternoon and was already home tonight. He says he's doing well but I worry that he will overdo and be sorry later!

a few more pics of Susie and Micah

2009-02-28T16:31:00.000-08:00

A couple more of the photographers posted a couple of pics from the Sedona photoshoot last month so here are a couple more pics of Susie and Micah

Friday

2009-02-27T06:49:00.000-08:00

I took my old computer that I set up in my bedroom and had it wiped clean and reloaded to try and get rid of the software issues it had. Unfortunately that did not repair the cd/dvd drive so I bought a new one and Jonathan installed that for me--So far so good. I just need to get my disk with what I had already typed of Grandma's book and my BOM journal and load it and then I can start adding more to them. Still no news on my newer computer that I took in on the 12th because it stopped working (still under warrantee) they had to send it off for repair. They gave me a loaner computer which I have also had problems with (the sound quit working) so I was back in there getting that fixed and then had to reload everything again! Zune takes over an hour so that was the big thing.
I haven't done anything fun yet and my week is half over. I have been toying with working tonight to save 12 of my vacation hours but still haven't called in and volunteered, its hard to give up a vacation day.
Holly and Jonathan are getting excited about moving into their new house, but their closing date may not be until the end of March. The bank is pushing for a later closing date because of all the paperwork they have been swamped with since Pres. Obama's relief plan went into effect and people are swarming to the bank to buy/refinance or get help to stay out of foreclosure.
I haven't been working on my 12 step book, I stopped to wait for D and A but life keeps everyone busy and I haven't followed through with them so I picked it up yesterday and restarted. I re-read back to where I stopped and am working on the second week now.
Well, I'm going to go get ready for the day, its already practically 830 and I haven't even showered yet (yea for vacations).

2009-02-26T06:38:00.000-08:00

I found this video on another blog and thought it was clever and I enjoyed it. I hope you do too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_HXUhShhmY&eurl=http://creaturecomforts.typepad.com/my_weblog/&feature=player_embedded

I am home :(

2009-02-24T08:24:00.000-08:00

I didn't go up to Idaho, I had checked the weather forecast for Twin Falls and Salt Lake for this week last Saturday and it forecasted snow showers for 4 of the days and rain for the rest. After I told that to Marvin and thought we wouldn't go, I checked on Sunday and the forecast was changed to just rain and only one day of snow, but Marvin still wouldn't budge on the 'no-go' decision and just wants to wait until it is warmer. I am dissappointed but now thinking up alternative things to do or to just go ahead and work so I don't waste my vacation time--But,it is not easy to think about going ahead and working because I have spent two months mentally getting excited about a week off.

I got to see the house that Holly and Jonathan are in the process of buying. It is so big and roomy. It really will be a great house for a growing family. You can see pictures of it on Holly's site www.sparklebrightly.blogspot.com

So far I have just wasted this morning so I had better get up and pick something to do. Love you all. Deanna

Random babblings

2009-02-17T21:11:00.000-08:00

Holly and Jonathan signed the initial paperwork to buy a home today. If you go to her blog you can see some of the real estate pics--it is a large 5 bedroom home and I'm a little jealous but mostly I am just happy that they can get into this house that will serve them well. Marvin and I bought our little starter home in 1975 and 34 years later we're still here! We missed that peak of the boom when we could have made some money but now there are so many huge, beautiful homes for pennies on the dollar available I really wouldn't be able to sell. Realistically at my age I absolutely do not want more morgage payments and usually, I really don't even want to move, after all this is 'home'-- where all my children were raised. It has memories.

I have been having fun reading (and typing up) Grandma Throckmorton's journal/book.(see Across the Years on the upper right side of this blog and click on it to go to her book) I honestly have not read it for 30 years or more. She gave it to me before she died and she died in 1973, I didn't remember or perhaps didn't realize back in 1973 how bad it sounds when she talks about the black mammy or the other "negros" that lived around her. I thought about why she still referred to them as she did when she was a child even though she was a mature woman when she wrote the book. I think perhaps for a couple of reasons, one is that--in the late 19th century in the south that is just how everyone viewed and spoke about the African Americans and secondly, even though she was now more mature, she had moved to rural (completely white) Idaho as a teen, she probably never had any dealings with any black people her whole life other than when she was a child. (I know that I was 17 before a single black family moved into our town and school) and therefore had no other experiential basis to alter her childhood memories. I do not believe that Grandma was racist she spoke lovingly of her black nanny/housekeeper and never spoke degradingly of any race when I knew her. She was just the product of her time and circumstances and she writes with a child like naivety. But oh, she was a horse loving tomboy, always active and always outside, I hadn't remembered that her nick name was "Humpty Dumpty" often shorted to "Humpty" (sounds awful doesn't it) Or that one of her sisters was somewhat prettier than the other and was always stealing her older sister's boyfriends. Grandma on the other hand was too busy having fun to settle down with a boyfriend.

I think that I will be coming up to Idaho next week. I still need to check the weather, I don't want to be driving in the snow. I haven't even given my mom a heads up because I'm not postive that I am coming and because she gets so incredibly stressed out and anxious about anything that changes or disrupts her routine.

Aimee and family may be coming for Spring break (March 16th). Dennis and she are seriously considering moving back here to Phoenix and just want to check out the 'water' and see if this is really what they want to do before they list their house in TX and really commit to the move.

Well I think I'll call it a day. If any of you want scroll down to the blog below this and comment, (I won't even make you commit to doing it yourself)and I will create something for you.--Marilyn I'm pretty sure of what I am going to make you, I just have to work it out in my mind so that my creative vision will not be a creative mess! Also I went a head and put three of the pictures that his cousin took directly onto my blog so scroll on down!!

Pics of Susie and a contest from Holly

2009-02-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

1st off, Susie and Micah went to a photoshoot in Sedona a couple of weeks ago and his cousin Kadie Pangburn had posted a few shots of them you can go to http://www.pangburnphotography.com/ and click on her blog site to see my baby girl.

Isn't she beautiful! (as are all my children)

2nd Holly posted this today and since I'm in a creative and generous mood this morning I am posting it here and also will hand make something for you if you post on my blog. If by some miracle I have more than 5 posts, post anyway cause I really am feeling generous this AM and I may think of something for you anyway. you can also go to her blog http://www.sparklebrightly.blogspot.com/ and enter hera instead (or also). So here are the details!

Wahoo!!! The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!

I get to choose what it is. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done this year. (might be a little while)
4- You have no clue what it's going to be. At this point, neither do I. It could be awesome, and it could be so lame it makes you cry.
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog.

Okay, the first 5 to do this are the luckiest people in the world!!!! Hurry up!
Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!
Good luck!

2009-02-03T13:37:00.000-08:00

I am trying to be more produtive this year. I am reading a book that Danelle got me which is an LDS scripture based workbook and guide of AA's 12 step program. It helps us recognize that there are many things (not just alcohol and drugs) that are "addicting" and separate us from God. I hope that I will be able to grow closer to Heavenly Father and perhaps overcome some of my negative issues. I also set up my old computer in my room, so even though it doesn't work that great, perhaps I will write more.

I also found two items that I had started quite a while ago so I created blogs to post them and hopefully I will continue to transcribe them into the computer so I can get them posted and printed. Grandma Throckmorton's book will be a real challenge but I will try and keep at it. It has been years since I read it so I will enjoy reading it again. The Book of Mormon Journal was written between 1999 and 2006, I hope it doesn't take me 7 years to get it typed into the computer!! The links are on the right top corner of my blog.

The weather is beautiful here in Phoenix, But as usual I have not been out much in it. That is one thing I want to change about myself. I want to be more "outdoorsy" to be out walking and hiking etc. As I typed in some of grandma's journal today, she talked about how she loved the outdoors and everything about it (sun, wind, rain etc.) but that her sisters were just the opposite. I need to remind myself whose child I am, and get out there!!

The Key

2008-12-17T16:53:00.001-08:00

A couple of years ago I wrote two poems for Christmas so I thought that I would share them with you. The first one I'm posting is called The Key. So here it is.

The Key
Once upon a darkened night
all men slept unaware
that into their lives a glorious light
would this very eve appear

The sheep outside the city grazed
upon the thin sparse grass
as shepherds’ drowsy eyes far gazed
into starry skies of glass

When suddenly a sound was heard
and breath was held with joy
as angel voices spread the word
Of Mary’s little boy

Hark! The melody rang out
in tones of cheer sublime
Listen to the trumpets’ shout
echoing through all time

Nature paused and bowed her head
honoring Salvation’s birth
and cries of hope from all her dead
burst forth throughout the earth

Hosanna! sang each fettered heart
the chains of sin’s dark grasp
soon would fall and all step forth
the Key had come at last

His kingdom he has come to claim
Stem of Jesse’s rod
blessed be His holy name
Christ Jesus, Son of God

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second is a little longer and I titled it:

From Whence Came That Sound?

From whence came that sound? He drowsily asked
As he was roused from his midnight sleep.
Was it the cows? Or a lonesome howl?
Or the bleating of restless sheep?

From whence came the sound that awakened me?
His patience was wearing thin
Don’t they know that I have to work?
He yawned, as he scratched his chin

He rose from his bed and rubbing his eyes
He wearily got to his feet
From whence came that sound? He questioned again
But even the dog was asleep

Some sound has disturbed my brief, lowly rest
And drawn me out of my bed
From whence came that sound? He asked himself
scratching his tossled haired head

Shuffling to the window he searched for the source
And surveyed the darkened site
A hush of almost perceptible weight lay heavy
In the pastoral night

The fields lay barren, and stillness prevailed
Thus proffering no clues at all
The trees shivered soundlessly in the pale moon light
Their shadows cast puzzlingly tall

It was only a dream, he consoled himself
And thinking of his day ahead
He wearily stretched and quickly
returned to his warm and comfortable bed

But the inquisitive mind of this humble man
Would not afford him his rest
From whence came that sound? He mused o’er and o’er
The answer his only quest

From whence came that sound? He spoke aloud
But his voice now seemed out of place
Somehow where familiar clamor once reigned
A peace permeated it space

He opened his eyes and in amazement beheld
The shadows were fleeting and stray
I’ve forfeited my rest in the answerless quest
For this light surely heralds the day

Slowly he rose and dressed for his work
And falteringly stepped out the door
Wearily he knelt for the tools of his trade
And when he arose from the floor--

His eyes caught a glimpse of the heavens above
And a glorious scene he beheld
A concourse of angels radiating splendor and light
Streamed out through the thin parted veil

He sank to his knees and trembling in fright
The sound came afresh to his mind
Fear not! Declared the voice of pure peace
Its tone so piercing yet kind

Good News! For this night is the promise fulfilled
The Messiah has come to the earth
The handmaiden of God has just travailed
And the Son has been given birth

Angels and nature united and sang
In harmony sweetly sublime
Hosannas to the most high God
Resounded in each vale and clime

Tears streaked the face of the simple man
As he sat in wonder, awed
To hear the sound of joy proclaim
The birth of Christ his God

2008-12-14T12:20:00.000-08:00

I found this very funny video for those of you who are Twilight fans! Enjoy and have a good laugh!!
http://www.take180.com/s/ep5l7

2008-10-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

Saturday was such a beautiful day!! Cool, refreshing, breezy, we reveled in it. We opened the doors and windows and turned off the air conditioner. That afternoon we went to a park so Charity (and her friend Tatum), and Grace and Jonathan Robert could play and we could just enjoy the weather. Here is few pictures taken there. There was a water feature there for the kids to play in and despite the cool breeze the kids all got wet and played until their teeth chattering got too bad. It reminded me of swimming in Idaho as kids--blue lips were expected.

The Giver

2008-10-07T20:44:00.000-07:00

I just finished The Giver by Lois Lawry. It is definately a book that I will have to ponder and think about. I'm certain that there are lots of gospel parallels especially in regards to the plan that Satan put forth. But also to God's plan specifically that there must be opposition in all things. To know joy there must be sorrow, to know comfort there must be pain etc. and how can we learn from experience if 1st there is none and second, there is no memory of pain/guilt/remorse etc. and for the reciever once he had those memories and experiences, there was no going back. As we mature and become adults, we can't go back and be the naive, carefree children we used to be--we are changed by the memories etched in our minds and by the choices we made because of our experiences.

the following is a response to a prompt I pulled from my journal jar.

"Describe your first home or apartment--as a young couple"
Marvin and I first lived in his parent's house, out on the family farm. His parents had not had much success for a number of years and were finally forced to give up the farm so they sold it for a dollar to Marvin's older brother Elden (to avoid foreclosure) and moved to Phoenix Arizona where there were good paying jobs for dad. It was a small rectangular pink brick house with two bedrooms and one bath on the main floor. The house faced west but all the activity was through the back door. There was also an unfinished (but framed out) basement. The living room was small, a fairly narrow rectangle with a couch across the north wall (which pretty much filled the whole width of the room, there was enough room for an end table I believe). The front door (west side) was rarely ever used because all of the parking and the rest of the farm (the garden, sheds, chicken coop, barnyard etc) was out back. The house sat on a "hill" which elevated it a little from the surrounding irrigated acres. It sat back away from the paved county road at least three or four hundred feet (a half a block or so) The narrow hard packed dirt lane that lead back to and circled the house mound was rendered impassable each spring when the rains fell and the snow melted and the ground thawed. It was easy to get stuck up the the doors of car in the mud. During those times the tractor was the only way in and out. Marvin moved to this farm when he was five years old. His father had been awarded the land in a homesteading give-away/drawing to veterans to open the north side of Rupert to farming. A great irrigation project/experiment was put in place and the land divided and distributed. It was nothing but desert, they cleared the sage brush, rocks, rabbits and coyotes off the land and spent the next fourteen years scratching out a living. The house was slow in coming but well appreciated when it was done. The basement held shelves filled with hundreds of jars of canned goods preserved by the sweat of the brow. One section held the freezers and the meat processing equiptment because hunting and butchering livestock that was raise to sustain the family was part of everyday life on a farm. The boys slept in the unheated basement as the bedrooms upstairs were for their parents and little sister. After we were married, Elden let Marvin and I take the master bedroom and he slept in the smaller one. We lived there until our daughter Danelle was born at which time Elden had found the girl he was going to marry and with his wedding coming soon, Marvin and I started looking at apartments. In a small town there wasn't a lot to look at, but we were very lucky to find a nice two bedroom duplex. (Believe me after one of the other apartments I looked at, it was the fabulous.) But that is another story.

2008-10-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed conference and I'm looking forward to re-listening to some of the talks. I want to listen again to Elder Corbridge's talk on Sat. afternoon about how living any other way than Christ's way was maddness.

I have been reading more and while I haven't read any great books I read some that I have enjoyed and that are thought promoting. I read a lot of "self help" books trying to figure myself out and trying to find those magic formulas to make me love to exercise and eat right and to be more productive. The most recent one I read was called "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie. It is a non religious book that helps us realize that what ever is going on in our life is "what is" and how we can accept and trust that God is in control and release our negative thinking and align ourselves with the truth in our lives and learn to live in peace. I have developed some insights from this book. I am starting an LDS preceptive book "Forgiving Ourselves" by Wendy Ulrich but haven't got too far yet. I just read the first two Harry Potter books (I know I'm behind the times) and just started "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. I am rereading "Running with Angels" which is by an LDS mom and how she lost 100lbs and ran a marathon. I read a chapter or two of Persusion by Jane Austen and will be returning to that soon.

One of the things I did a couple of months ago was to buy a new computer. It sure is nice not to have all the glitches that my old one had developed. I believe that the old one just needs to be wiped and reloaded and everyone asks me where my restore discs are and I tell them the computer didn't come with any. I need to contact the company this month because I bought an extended warranty and even though I think it is a software problem, maybe they will provide the restore discs. Anyway with this new computer I learned something that was so easy but just didn't know how to do and that was how to "rip" my cd's to the computer. How simple was that!! Just open your windows media player, put your cd in the drive and click on rip! Sometimes if it was the first one I had to click on rip again and tell it to "rip the cd in drive E" but after that, every cd I put in was ripped automatically. I bought some head phones ('cause I was jealous of Holly wearing their big ol' headphones). I listened for a couple of minutes, enjoying the bass, then went to nap because I had to work that night. In the morning when I got home from work, I came to the computer and found that someone (a little big brown-eyed curly top girl) had taken the scissors I had used to open that extremely theft-proof packaging on the head phones and had snipped the wires into about nine or eight pieces!! Good thing I went for the $10.00 pair from Ross (a discount store) rather than the $80 ones I was thinking about at Sam's Club!! :) Not a big deal, just a reminder about being mindful of a child's curiosity and desire to try out their SKILLS.

This girl has "scissor" SKILLS!

2008-10-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Robert with his new toy, taken yesterday. 10/4/08

Here is Grace on 10/04/08, she is such a cutie and Oh those Eyes!!

This is Charity last month on her first day to school. 9/2/08.

Gosh! It's been a while! I'm not sure why I haven't been posting, part of it is a sense of perfectionism in that I guess I want what I write to be poetic, or moving, or at least not to waste your time. I also haven't been taking any pictures so even if I thought I should post, then I think, I don't have any pictures to post with it. So blah, blah, blah, so much for excuses.

In the last two months since I blogged, lots of things have stayed the same but of course in other ways my life has changed. First, Holly, Jonathan, Charity, Grace and Jonathan Robert have moved in with us and have brighted up our lives. We all love having them here with us. Marvin especially likes the little ones and this chance to get to bond with them. Speaking of Marvin--He quit smoking 2 months ago and just this week finally said, "It's still hard but I'm going to make it." Every other time if I checked in on how he was doing he would just moan and lament on the desire that constantly pressured him. He has used alcohol to help but he says, "now, I'm going to stop drinking. I don't know when yet, I've used the beer as a crutch while I quit smoking, but once I know I'm free of the cigarrettes, I'm going to do it. It will be easier than the cigarrettes." I was so moved by this hopeful statement. I truly hope he can be successful. My concern is that unless he replaces these habits with something, he will just slip back into them. He currently does nothing except watch tv.

I haven't changed, I still think about and plan to diet and exercise but haven't started yet. One of the speakers this morning in General Conference quoted a marathon winner as saying "the commitment to win is nothing with out the commitment to prepare" I think I keep focusing on the winning and not on the daily, hourly, moment to moment preparation needed for the goal to be realized. It makes me marvel at Marvin's will power to quit smoking, when I can't quit eating the wrong things.

Christmas is rushing towards me and I haven't done any planning, or any made any handicrafts to give away. I do like to sew, cross stich, crochet etc. and would like to give something of myself this Christmas but it won't happen if I don't get busy. I had started some "red-work" embroidered dish towels last year after visiting my brother and his wife. She is from Scandinavian descent and is deeply involved in their culture. I thought that this form of embellishing the dish towels was cute and not too time consuming, but even so, I haven't completed any yet, but have all the materials to make a set or two.

Well, I least this is a start and hope to return to posting regularly. Thanks Marilyn for the sweet reminder. Love you all.

2008-08-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

Hi again. Monica and family were over for dinner on Sunday and I took a couple of pictures of Morgan because she got her hair cut for her first day of high school. She already looked older than her age and now I think she looks even older. She sure is growing up fast. I also am posting a picture of Dillon cause it was his birthday. Happy Birthday 10 year old! Then just so he won't feel left out I will post a picture of Denver too.

I love to go to Goodwill and Savers and peruse the book racks. Today I scored "Suite Francaise" a book I have been going to buy for a year because it was listed on a must read/best book list, a copy of Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass: A Selection of Poems and Prose" AND "A Pretty Good Joke Book" Guess which one I started reading?

Here are a few of the old standard one liners---

My pig learned karate--now he's doing pork chops

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.

Is there another word for synonym?

Did you know that half of all people are below average?

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?? He sold his soul to Santa!

and finally: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
The same middle name!

My cousin usually posts a meaningful and inspiring quote on her blog but maybe I will just post a joke from this book!! I am actually terrible with jokes, I can never remember them!! but this book gave me a laugh today.

Monday again

2008-08-11T18:00:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that it seems like I can't write more than once a week. I worked last night and now that I had a short nap maybe I can function a little. Today is my mother's 78th birthday. I wish I could be up there to see her. I haven't got to see her this year, with preparing for the wedding and changing jobs I didn't get to take time off for a visit. Danelle went up and visited her this summer and says she looks great!! I know she has been exercising and has lost weight and she was always blessed with great skin so I'm sure she looks much younger than her age! I hope Danelle posts pictures soon, but I know that Danelle is also wrapped up in uncertainty--job change, moving, and school starting. They must move by the end of the month but Vincente will not be elegible to post to a new store (where he will be Senior manager) until Sept 1st so they do not know where to move or stay yet. It's too bad that things didn't work out for them to stay in their home for another month, but we all have faith that the Lord will provide and guide them to where they should be. I hope it can be closer to us but most of the store openings seems to be further east at this time.

Marvin is still staying strong in the quitting smoking attempt but every day that I ask he just seems like he won't be able to hang on much longer if the desire doesn't start to ease off. On Wednesday it will be two weeks since he essentially quit, with no easing off of the intense desire to smoke.

Holly and family should be arriving in another week or two, I'm not sure when yet and if you read her post you know that her car has died---one more obstacle in an already overwhelming month.

Monica's kiddo's started school today, I hope they all liked their new experiences--Morgan started in High School and Denver in Middle School.

Pictures from spring break

2008-08-05T10:51:00.000-07:00

Monica uploaded her memory card to my computer Sunday and she had pictures from her trip to Texas to visit Danelle and Aimee. I thought I would try once more to upload some pictures since I couldn't upload any yesterday when I tried 5 different times. So here are a couple of the pictures she took.

Monday news

2008-08-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hi, first of all Susie called and got the report of her Ultrasound which was "unremarkable" Yeah!! She will still go and see her Dr on Wednesday but it appears that there is nothing to worry about.

Second, Breaking Dawn I'm sure most of the die hard Bella Fans have finished the book by now but I don't want to spoil it for any who are still reading. I really did enjoy this series, it is fun to share the romance of love. I read several blogs that were angry or disappointed in this last book mostly because of their "gimme a break" comments on the course of events (as if reality had anything to do with this book of fiction). Considering her target audience is teen girls I vote for Stephanie Meyers choices on how this last book plays out. I mean who wants reality in a fairy tale anyway, teen girls just want swept away in the dream of happily ever after and personally life will, all too frequently, bury that dream under the weight of every daily living soon enough. So from under my own pile of ##*X I loved the few hours I got to spend in love with Bella and _______ (I won't tell whether it was Jacob or Edward).

Holly, just called and said that Jonathan recieved a job offer here in Phoenix so it looks like they will be coming in two weeks. I'm excited to have her and the kids here. Marvin really enjoys the kids too!! Now we just need to figure out how to get her down here.

Denver and Dillon spent the night last night. They like to stay and grandma's not because of grandma but because I have cable TV and high speed internet so they love to flip channels and play games. Dillon is going to be in fifth grade!! and Denver just turned 13!! Wow! Morgan will be a freshman this year! Of course all of my grandchildren are growing up too fast and for that matter all of my children too!!

Well just wanted to let you know about Susie and also Holly's news. Love you all Deanna

July 30th

2008-07-30T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hi, I've pretty much spent the whole day messing around on this new computer and with my camera. I found a site that did what I always said I needed some one to do. Just to go step by step though the controls and in plain English show me what to change, set etc. !! I had so many things not set right that I now have hope for great SOOCS (straight out of camera shots). Before the pictures were always "washed out" (overexposed) on the Auto settings and apparently that is a common problem with Nikons, and I always had to tweak them in their photo program before I would want anyone to see them. Now, hopefully they will start out great. I haven't loaded my Photoshop Elements 6 yet but maybe later this afternoon I'll do that. I thought I might post a few more of the BearLake photos. Like I said I didn't take many but I wanted to post the one of Eric and I couldn't find it yesterday when I was posting.

Susie went for an Ultrasound this morning and will see her Dr. next Wednesday. Here last CT scan showed some possible fluid in her abd. so they are checking it out. It is so scary for all of us.

Today was Marvins quit date for smoking (he started taking Chantix a week ago). I think he is doing pretty good, however, he did buy cigarettes when he went to the store this morning and his pack is still sitting out by the back door (ie he didn't toss everything to avoid temptation) BUT I have not seen him smoke today and I have been here all day. So keep him in your prayers, I know he will feel so much better once his lungs recover some,--his coughing episodes can get pretty darn hairy at times.

I'm making chicken and noodles for dinner per Marvin's request. I had better get busy and do something around the house. Love you all.

Family Reunion

2008-07-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

Hi all, sorry I took so long to post but my computer was down. My monitor had died and then I was working so I didn't get right on replacing it. Any way, I know all of you are waiting for some pictures from bearlake. I didn't take a lot but I did get some. I'm glad that Sarah was conscientious about getting photos of each person there. I look forward to her pics. It was a very nice weekend. I didn't get to go up and see my mom though because of time restraints. Danelle went though and said that grandma looks great!! As I had said I would in my previous post, I used the drive time to read (and also snuck some of the weekend to read also). I was able to read all three books in the Twilight series and I am looking forward to Breaking Dawn's release. I do have to admit that I am tired of Bella's whining and fit throwing and wonder what there is about her beside her smell that Edward fell in love with!! Anyway Here are some pics from Bear Lake. Hey Trista, comment again on this blog so I can get your address again (the worse part of a new computer is having to reload everything.) I'll write again soon, maybe even today but I need to have a break from getting this computer set up and running 4 hrs is tooooo long. Love you all

Vacation Day 1

2008-07-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

I just got off of work and so am FREE until Wed. night of Next week!! I have a lot to do today to be ready to leave early tomorrow morning for Utah and the family reunion. I am just so excited to not have to work for a week!! My daughter Aimee started a blog yesterday http://www.weimerlife.blogspot.com/ and my daughter Monica started one last week at http://www.ohellimeanhello.blogspot.com/ and of course my daughter Holly has a blog at http://www.sparklebrightly.blogspot.com/ It is fun to keep up with everyone's activities this way and get to see pictures too!!! I will be seeing all of my family Friday so I'd better get busy so I won't be late!! I can hear that Marvin got the mower running for me so the lawn awaits me!! See you soon :)

By the way, Denver sent me a link to one of Margaret's Bridesmaids photos which has photos from Margaret's wedding and a link to Margaret's Flickr account because she will eventually post photos too.

Suzie's (the bridesmaid) account is -http://picasaweb.google.com/redzipstar/MargaretSteveSWeddingWeekend

Margaret's flickr account is http://www.flickr.com/photos/margejames

I Got Music!

2008-07-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

I have spent the entire evening listening to playlists on random blogs and then figuring out how to put a playlist on to my blog. I hope you like the music, I'll try to remember to go in and rearrange it once in a while so you don't always have to hear the first song over and over. I laid around all day and now it's after midnight and I have church in the morning and work tomorrow night, so I'd better put myself to bed.

I'll see you all soon (except for you sweet Aimee. Did you get your blog started? I haven't gotten any notice yet.)

Denver, I checked out your beautiful daughter's wedding pics. It all looked perfect and I loved the colors and flowers she used.

8 days and counting

2008-07-09T17:03:00.000-07:00

Eight more days until we leave for the family reunion. Danelle is stressing out because her car has been giving her some trouble, Holly's car has been overheating as well. Danelle will be driving up from Texas by her self with the 5 kids and then Vicente will be flying up so it is scary to be on the road by yourself with an unreliable car!!

I went and bought a few more things for crafts for the reunion. I found two bags of tie-tacs with a "snicker" bar logo at Goodwill, (80+ tacs) but we can glue something on top if that to make custom tie-tacs or brooches/pins. So I bought some little lizards for the boys to glue on, also the clear glass flat "stones" that we made refrigerator magnets out of for Susie's wedding will also work on them. I also got some things for the scrabble tile necklaces, just need a little more ribbon or cord for the necklace part. I already had some craft wire for rock pendants, and tons of key rings if Danelle brings her lanyard stuff to make key fobs. I picked up some more beads/glitter stuff to put into the bracelets for the girls so I think we are about ready. So there will be plenty of different crafts to choose from. Holly has bought the noodles for the soft swords and I will pick up the PVC and the pipe insulation up in Utah so I don't have to haul it all the way.

I work tonight and tomorrow night and then again on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. Then I don't work again until the week after the reunion on Wed, Thurs, and Friday. Because I started at a new company I didn't start earning paid time off for 60 days so I didn't have enough time built up yet. So it was great that my manager worked with me so I can have almost the whole week off. I still feel very comfortable with this company. It still feels like the patient is the main focus and not the paperwork or the cost, so that is great.

I'm pretty sure that Marvin is going to come. He told Holly he was coming, now just to see how he feels when the time comes to get into the car. Twice in the past he has come up "I just don't know what it is but I don't have a good feeling about going" and then stayed home. (He did tell me he thought someone tried to break into the house one of the times) So I just don't know what the day will bring.

I think that I had better read Stephanie Meyers "Twilight" series on the drive because I'm beginning to feel like the last person in the world to read it.

Here is a picture of the bracelet, lizard, tie-tac/pin and the glass magnets. I haven't made up a stone pendant necklace or a scabble tile necklace yet but we have directions that we printed off the web for them.

Monica's Birthday

2008-07-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

Monica came over today and we went shopping for a birthday present for her. We went to Kohls unfortunately, they no longer carry sterling silver charms for her bracelet but I was thinking about getting her a new pair of sunglasses for our reunion trip. We ended up finding a pair of capris and the sunglasses and a hat. (all on sale or clearance--SCORE!)

For dinner, I had looked around at The Pioneer Woman site http://thepioneerwoman.com/ and found some new recipes to try. (A couple of months ago she had a contest and to enter you gave a favorite recipe) She got over 5000 entries! I chose a recipe for Lettuce Wraps (my daughter Danelle makes them frequently and her family loves them), A recipe for crab puffs (rangoons), Fried rice and then "Smores on a Stick for dessert. It required a lot of chopping but Monica and Morgan helped and the meal was delicious, Allen even had Monica type up the crab puff recipe for him. I also made a Seseme Ginger dipping sauce, and a peanut butter dipping sauce. We all liked the Seseme Ginger sauce the best.

Brian looked very handsome tonight!

Monica's boys have been playing with the soft swords/boppers (see "refocus" 2 post ago) all night so I think it will be a good craft for the boys at the reunion. Holly, I will put the money in your account if you want to go ahead and try to find enough pool noodles at the dollar store up there. I think 20 would be enough (2 swords per noodle). I was thinking if they have a lot of 2 different colors then the teams could be made up by the color of their sword, blues against reds? other wise we could tie head bands or arm bands of different colors to make up the teams. If you look now, if you have trouble finding them, I will have time to get them here. Monica's boys are spending the night tonight and they are still chopping each others legs and arms off!!

Monday again!

2008-07-07T09:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning, I just read one of my daughter's (Monica's) first blog on her new blogsite and of course it brought guilt upon my head, because again it has been a week since I blogged! I reread my last blog and what a jumble of unrelated stuff! I guess I could have at least made paragraphs!!
I have today and tomorrow off Yeah!! I have so much I should do in this house, but like always, I probably will only barely touch the surface. Instead I'm sure shopping and computer grazing will win out over housecleaning. Today is Monica's birthday so I need to plan dinner and maybe an activity to do with/for her today. We could go over to Susie's swanky apartment and use their beautiful pool/BBQ area but Susie doesn't get off work until 6:30 pm so that is pretty late.
I have been pondering on which book I will read on the drive up to the reunion. (One of my favorite parts of a trip is letting Marvin drive and getting to read the entire trip!!) I started the trilogy "Kristin Lavransdatter" (which I had read and enjoyed about 25 years ago) but when I got to the night when the young teenage Kristin makes the emotionally immature choice of her future path by binding herself to the handsome morally weak rogue instead of accepting the more honorable and suitable man chosen by her father for her, I had to close the book!! Having read the book before I am acutely aware of the path of heartache she was binding herself to with this choice, and it made me so upset I had to walk away instead of taking the journey with her again. I'm sure I will pick it up again because while I really don't remember many details of this Nobel Prize winning novel, I do remember fondly the feeling of enchantment, of being transported to another time and place--but I'll have to prepare myself first. Oh how we need to pray about the major decisions in our lives, we need the Lord's knowledge and foresight! Our earthly selfish desires and limited vision can so easily take us onto paths that lead to heartache. (and even then, how many times do we continue down the path because we subbornly persist in doing what WE want and so set aside and refuse to listen to (or even refuse to seek) the Lord's counsel!!
I have also discovered that this is a different translation from the one that I read before. I can remember being so immersed in the "old English" language pattern, and the thee, thou, thy pronouns etc. I found it difficult not to speak like that when I stopped reading. This translator wanted to modernize the language which she felt was too flowery and to be more true (in her opinion)to Sigrid Undset's style of writing. I would have to have both translations available and also the original Norwegian text (and be able to read and understand all of them) to say whether that was true. Oh well! So I am thinking that my book choice will be "The Poisonwood Bible" which I have started once but haven't read yet and at 500+ pages is long enough to get immered in and to transport but much less than the 1100+ pages of Kristin Lavarnsdatter.
I have got to get busy so bye for now!!

Refocus

2008-07-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of my sweet Charity!

And one of Gracie

And a couple of silly kids who I love!

I just reread my last post and saw the date!! It's been almost a month since I blogged!! I am on the computer almost everyday and I think about blogging but I just haven't felt inspired enough to write anything creative, and while I originally thought I would journal here (and we all know how therapeutic journalling can be--letting your frustrations and disappointments flow out and dissipate) but I realize that this blog is more about keeping connected to my far flung family and friends and is not a creative writing showcase or journal therapy session so I guess I will just write alittle about what's going on in my life. The Family Reunion at Bear Lake is just around the corner and I am getting excited to see everyone. Danelle and I have been trying to come up with a good craft that would be appealing and inexpensive for the boys at the reunion. (the girls will be decorating flip-flops and making bracelets) I have bought the stuff to try out a soft foam sword for some medieval fighting but the center of the pool noodle looks awfully small for the PVC pipe to fit into for the handle. Well, I thought this is silly to still be wondering if it will fit when I have all the material right here so I checked and even though it looks small it does fit. So I will make one up and try it out. I also took a break and went to Bath and Body works to get some aroma therapy!! I have been mourning not being able to see and smell the lilacs this spring. I used to have a lilac candle but alas no more. I didn't know if they had any lilac scents but I just thought I would get something. I was so thrilled when I saw that they carried a lilac room scent!! They were also having their semi-annual sale so I picked up a few other scents also. Coconut Lime Verbana (one of my favorites), Cucumber Melon, Allspice-Nutmeg (for this fall), and a Cinnamon Clove (for Christmas time) on clearance for $3.00 each. I remember my sister-in-law telling me once that when she cleaned--she burned a scented candle and that it helped her focus on completing her task. I also find that music helps me clean so I bought myself a CD today (I spoiled myself today) I have read/heard several people rave about the soundtrack from "Wicked" so I bought that to try. Hold on----I put it in to play right now so I will hear it for the first time with you. I do have the book on which the Musical is based and I started it a year or so ago but then it got put down and I haven't ever finished it yet. (it did have some sexually charged parts as I remember which kind of turned me off to reading it) I have only heard good things about the play though. Wow here I sit, visiting with people I love, surrounded by the scent of lilac and listening to Broadway music!! I grew up with a huge lilac tree/bush in my front yard and I can't say how many hours I played under its fragrant branches. The shady area under it didn't grow grass so it was our "sandbox" so to speak (even though it was only dirt) I remember creating streets and towns for our cars, and digging with my brother's "steam shovel" that he recieved one Christmas. So far the music is good but I'm sure I will need to see the Musical so that not only will the music be fun it will bring with it a remembrence of a wonderful night out and experience. Well, I'm going to go and make one of the soft swords, I'll post a picture as soon as I get it done.

Permission to Live

2008-06-10T16:26:00.000-07:00

I was sitting and watching TV (a rerun in fact, how lame is that?) and a young girl was being interviewed about her talents and when asked how many songs she had composed she said "47 - It's easy!!" (I remember writing as being easy but I just haven't tried for a while). Then as I flipped the channel a young woman with cancer was talking about her life and she said "we all live in a terminal condition" but that having cancer gave her the "permission to live". So here is a little musing from that.

Permission to Live

"We all live in a terminal condition" she said

and yet, I squander the precious moments

I whine and peruse the dark cloud above my head

And if it doesn't rumble and sprinkle a little rain on me

I proceed to make my own and shed a few tears

(in order to justify my continued attentive care)

I dwell in my cloud alone, lonely with my daydreams

of what I will do --someday--when this or that occurs

But nothing happens so I go from day to day ineffectively

imitating life. Wanting more, but unwilling to change.

Unwilling to open my umbrella and boldly stroll out

into--what? A deluge?- or - sunshine and rainbows!

"Give yourself permission to live" she said

"But what about___?" I whine. "I can't do that!" I protest

"I have that anchor chained to me, more than one in fact!"

"Well then, you need to row a little harder don't you!"

"You'll never know if the next stroke of the oar would

be the one to set you free if you don't try!"

"A person should be the leading lady in her own life"

says the movie. So give up that supporting actor role--

that "who am I to think I could be a star?" mindset

As Nelson Mandela said--"WHO ARE YOU NOT TO BE?"

Give yourself permission to live! And not only to live

But to soar and laugh and lift and serve joyously

a couple of pictures of the Bride!

2008-05-31T15:10:00.000-07:00

Howdy family, Here I am after a few days of debriefing and then 3 days of work. I finally just got to talk to Susie! She and Micah had a relaxing time in California. Mostly hanging out at their motel (no surprise there)! She and Micah hosted a BBQ at their new apartment last pm but I had to work so couldn't go. As it turned out the pool was closed because the management found out that they didn't have the right permits and OKs yet for the pool. (It is a brand new apartment complex and Susie and Micah are some of the very first to brave all the continued construction and move in. It is an upscale apartment complex and the common cool stuff is all done but only 2 of the many apartment buildings are completed. It is kind of like having the pool, weight room, media room, etc all to theirselves!

I am posting a couple of the pictures from the wedding photographer's blog site so be sure and visit (www.pangburnphotography.com). When she gets the rest done, they will be posted under the "client" section on her web site and then we can sign in and see more. Through some of Kadie's (the photographer) connections Micah and Susie were chosen to be models at a Photographer workshop event. They will recieve copies of all the photos from the photo shoot in which 10 or so photographers participate. They will also get hair and makeup session and the tux rental as well. Susie doesn't have many details yet but it will be in a couple of weeks in Tucson. On Kadie's blog (I think it is the first blog in the January 2008 archive) she shows pics she took at a similar event.

I came across my grandmother's first book of memoirs "Across the Years" by Annie Theresa B. Throckmorton. I thought that I would start entering it into the computer and then post it. I can see that even typing 30 mins a day it will take a long long time to get it entered. I think I will start a new blog just for it.

I am still excited about getting to read more, but I have got to get all the wedding stuff put away somewhere and get this house cleaned up!! I was so excited pre wedding to be able to start working on it immediately but in reality, I needed a few days to recover but then I had to go back to work so nothing got done. I finally have the tablecloths in the washer right now.

Marvin is bugging me to make him a grilled tuna and cheese sandwich. so I guess I'll close for now. Love you all and remember "Love conquers all!"

Kadie posted some pics on her blog!

2008-05-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

I checked Kadie Pangburn's (the photographer)blog again and she has posted a few pictures on her blog. So if you want to see some pics of Susie and Micah check it out at www.pangburnphotography.com and clic on her blog tab.

I've got to go to work, so see ya later.

A perfect day for Susie

2008-05-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday turned into such a beautiful and perfect day for Susie's wedding. Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures and am waiting for the photographer to post pics. I forgot my camera and so Brian went home and got it but then it was up at the top of the hill and all the pictures were being taken at the bottom!!. In any case Micah's cousins Joe and Kadie were taking beautiful pictures, I can't wait to see them. Susanna was so beautiful!! She could have been a bride in a Vogue layout!! (Micah is handsome as well). I marveled that little ole me could have produced such beauty as Susie!! The bridesmaids dresses--once everyone was in them and they were together as a group--looked great. (Much better than when we were fitting them individually---at which time I had reservations about how they were going to look!) Marvin pulled it together enough to attend the wedding ceremony and walk her up the "aisle" but seriously I thought he would faint several times while we were there. He chose to go home right after the wedding and didn't go to the reception but I think we all knew that would happen. I had warned the grooms side already. Susanna's coworkers and sister Aimee and brother-in-law Del set up the reception room while everyone else was out at the wedding site for pictures and they created an amazingly beautiful room!! I know this post is premature because I don't have pictures to post but I will let you all know as soon as Kadie posts any pictures on her site. (www.pangburnphotography.com) Susie and Micah have gone to California for their honeymoon. They are staying in Laguna Beach and are going to go to Disneyland. I expect them home tomorrow. I go back to work tonight so have had several days to debrief and recover. Holly is still staying with us until next Tuesday. Danelle and family stayed only Friday and Saturday and drove home on Sunday. Aimee flew in on Friday and went home on Monday. Scott was the only one not able to come. The weekend flew by and I really didn't get to visit much. Well I need to go for now but will check back again soon. Marilyn, I think your biggest Loser contest is great. I hope to get it together with my own family, Love you all. Deanna

Ill be back!! next week

2008-05-21T22:12:00.001-07:00

Hi just a note to tell you the I am and have been in the throes of wedding details and sewing and will be back and posting next week after the wedding. We're getting there but still so many details and so little time!! Deanna

Peace Like a River

2008-05-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

In the midst of all I need to do I have of course done something that absolutely didn't need to be done. I read a book!! I read it in little chunks and pieces. In the "reading room". I would stretch out reading as long as I could--until my legs, feet and behind started to tingle and go numb)a chapter here and one there. I sat and read it this morning instead of going straight to bed after work and managed to finish it. I hope anyone who reads this does not skip ahead to read the end because even as predictable as some things turn out, if you stay with the characters and share in the journey the impact of the ending will be moving. I did have to suspend some reality in reading this book. Mostly that an eight year old would be as precocious as Swede. But I just kept telling myself that some children are literary geniuses (but in western novels and history)?? This book did keep me wanting to come back to it. I thought about it at odd times and reflected on the tragedy of it all,and what the consequences should be, what would serve justice. etc. In the end, I was moved to tears and loved the description of the "other country". So I would recommend reading it and I do have two copies to loan if you want. By the way the picture at the top is not a reflection on the book, but I just wanted to post a picture of it and decided that it would be fitting to place it upon the throne it was read on.

I did get one bride's maid dress sewn up and the fact that once I got started it didn't take all that long has brought me a welcomed lessening of the dread I faced at the task. I really can see that I can get the next two done in my two days off.

Holly is coming!! toothless schoolgirl Charity is coming!! Big beautiful eyed Grace is coming!! and little Jonathan Robert (Jon-Bob to grandpa) is coming!! I can't wait to see them and to have another pair of hands to help.

Susie finished school this week and has been so stressed she couldn't concentrate and study so she thinks she did very poorly on her last test in A&P. She really was striving for all A's but with all the pressure she is under I hope she knows that one bombed test and a B is still acceptable.

The weather is still holding "warm" (anything under 100 degrees is "warm" here in Phoenix and Susie is wishin' and hopin' and prayin' that it stays this way for her wedding day. (Ceremony is outside).

Well too-da-loo I must run. Love and Kisses to all.

2008-05-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is Friday already. I have such respect for those bloggers who blog everyday! I want to be like that but somehow it hasn't happened yet. I am off until nest Tuesday so am determined to get all the dresses done by then but still---I only managed to work on them for appx. 15 mins yesterday!! Then I thought I would stay up and sew all night while I wouldn't be interrupted by Marvin, TV, shopping, phone etc. but then of course I was tired and fell asleep on the couch with the thought that I would just take a nap and then get up and get at it but you know I slept all night and here it is almost 9am and I still haven't started sewing yet. I oriented again on Wednesday and drove out again yesterday afternoon to see the admission process of a pt on a ventilator. Which when they called interrupted my beginning to sew. I spent a couple of hours there and then I went to a Joann's fabrics and spent another hour and a half trying to find a pattern and material to make for me to wear to the wedding. I did pick up the zippers that I needed and found another one and half yards of the pink taffeta. I hope we have enough now for the boleros. I had only bought enough material for the dresses because that was all they had and then I found another small piece at another Joann's and now finally this last piece last night so I hope we can get them all cut out.
Well I had better try and get started. Love you all.

Monday, Monday

2008-04-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

My weekend with the new company went fine, I took patients and an admit yesterday. It was OK and it kept me busy. I know that I didn't do everything perfectly but that's what an orientation is for. When Susie got home last night she informed me that the address we had put on to the wedding invitations was wrong!! I didn't know she had already sent most of them out this weekend so I wasn't too upset and thought I could just have them reprinted but unfortunately his family mailed theirs out this weekend. Anyway It sucks because it is my fault because how the wrong address got on there was I had printed up a trial wording of an invitation several months just as samples for Susie to choose from and I didn't have the addresses right in front of me so I just guessed at the address. When we finally were doing the invitations I only remembered that I had guessed at the reception address, not the wedding address so it was the only address we changed. I am so frustrated with myself and have been beating myself up this morning. Anyway if you are planning on coming to the wedding ceremony the address is really 10600 not 10400. Susie is taking it well, I just don't know how well Micah's family is taking it as their side will have the majority who are coming and who got the wrong address.

I went and got a new tire today (to replace my blow out) and went ahead and replaced the other front tire. Sam's Club replaced the one tire per their road hazard policy so I just had to buy one tire. I then went to a couple of junk yards for a new wheel cover but neither facility carried any so I just bought a new set from Auto Zone.

All of the multitude of "ought to be doings" are calling me, so I better close for now. Hope your day is filled with joy and worthwhile projects.

2008-04-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Howdy everybody. I spent my first day at an inpatient unit today. They didn't have any admissions, discharges, transfers or deaths so it was a quiet day as they only had 6 patients. I had some trouble getting to work this morning though. This particular unit is around 28 miles from my house, luckily most of it is freeway. anyhow, right after I traveled from the I-17 to the I-30 there was a white panel van screetching and weaving off the side of the road and it appeared that his drive train had fallen down on to the road. I said a little thank you that I was not 10 secs ahead of time and thankfully not right next to him. (He managed to get the vehicle stopped) Then about 8-9 more miles up the road, I heard something spin off the right front tire and ping and bang under the car. I had not seen anything in the road and I guess I could describe the sound like a metal bolt (it sounded metallic and not too big). there didn't appear to be a problem, so I kept driving and as I got closer to my exit I started to move over lanes to get into the outside lane. when I got into the next to last lane I found myself next to an old beatup 1980's van. There started to be a strange noise and I thought it was coming from that old van, but as I passed him, I noticed that I now had a noise and a vibration and I thought "That van could have been making a noise but it wouldn't make my car vibrate. I quickly moved into the outside lane and started braking. Within a second or two my tire blew out but I was able to get into the emergency lane on the shoulder and get stopped. I was really bummed because not only was the tire shredded but my hubcap was no where to be found. I called Marvin who was not sympathetic at all. I called my son-in-law who unfortunately had gone camping with his brother. So it was going to be up to me. I opened the back door where the little jack and wrench were and got those out and I knew that the spare tire was mounted under the back of the car. I noted how low to the ground that the car sat and tried to invision me trying to wiggle under it to unbolt a tire (How low can you go??). I then thought about how black and filthy the tire was and I knew that I would not be able to go to work once I managed to change the tire because I was wearing white pants and I would be Filthy!! I remembered that my insurance policy had a towing benefit, but I didn't think it was also roadside assistance but I gave them a call anyway and guess what! no problem!! Yes it was covered and they would get someone right out to fix it. So after 35-40 mins he showed up, got the tire changed. the spare was pretty flat but he had a small tank of compressed air and got it full enough to get to a gas station and top it off. And ta-da! By the way, the spare tire is unbolted from the floor inside the car, there was no crawling under the back of the car to get it out. Anyway I made it to work and now safely home again. It is time to hit the hay as I also have to work tomorrow. I will be caring for some patients tomorrow and will be learning HOV's charting. Hopefully we will get an admit so I can see that process. LOVE and KISSES to all.

a link to some pics of Susie and Micah

2008-04-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

I just went to the web site of Micah's cousin who took pics of them a couple of weeks ago and she has some of the pics posted in her blog. To see them go to www.pangburnphotography.com and click on the BLOG tab.

2008-04-25T18:27:00.000-07:00

Monica came over today to help with the wedding stuff and try to keep me on track. We did get some things done but not enough. I kept leaving what I was doing to check out what she was doing!! But every little bit helps. Today is my Holly-Dolly's 25th birthday. Wow a quarter of a century old!! I can hardly believe it! I also have a terrible time believing that I have a child who is 37!! In fact it is hard to believe that I am 56 years old. Time is racing by and seems to be speeding up. I have wasted a lot of it in my life and unfortunately continue to indulge myself in nonproductive activities.

Tomorrow I will be doing a shift at an HOV unit and so will get to see the inpatient process first hand. I think that caring for the patients and the family education pieces will be mostly the same but it is all the little things, who do you call to get what. how do you know which dr. is on call. How do you get DME, meds etc. What is everything you have to do to make sure the pt is properly admitted or discharged. How does the home team like to be notified. etc. etc, etc. I also have to work Sunday, which I don't like but I have to work the schedule of the preceptor. Plus even with Sunday, my manager only has me working one other day next week so I will be only getting 24 hours next week and 28 hours this week. the following week I will be getting my 36 hours but I still do not have a schedule for beyond my orientation. I did speak to my manager again and reminded her of Susie's upcoming wedding on the 24th and told her I could only work either at the beginning of that week or maybe not at all that week, so we'll see what she comes up with. Wow then it will almost be JUNE!! "Summertime and the livin' is easy!" I still remember seeing "Porgy and Bess" on TV when I was very young and loved that song. I think it was Lena Horne who sang it. I just went on you tube and listened to the song again. It wasn't lena Horne on the version I saw but of course she may have sung it in a different one. Just watching diffent clips of the musical makes me want to see it. Maybe it will come to town sometime and I will go. I have also heard such great things about the musical "Wicked" so that would be fun to see also.

Susie was given an extracredit assignment to "earn" rice to fight world hunger by building her vocabulary. Susie, Monica and I had fun trying to figureout the meaning of the words. By looking at the prefixes and some roots in the word we were able to figure out a good percentage. It is quite addictive you can check it out at www.freerice.com

Susie just got home from work so I had better go and get busy on the wedding stuff.

2008-04-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

I am still orienting for my new company, I had a day of orientation yesterday and another tomorrow and then I will orient on the unit this weekend. luckily I was dismissed from jury duty this week without having to go downtown so I can get all of my orientation done. I didn't have to work today and with Susie's wedding coming up so fast I should have been sewing, but instead I read a book. It was called The Twelve Little Cakes and was a memoir of Dominika Dery a young woman who grew up in Czechoslovia. Her parents were dissidents and the "party/comrads" always made her dad's life very difficult, but despite all of the difficulties because of the love and strength of her parents she still had a happy childhood.

I should really get busy but now my eyes are so blurry I can hardly read, and I even wore my glasses while I read. (Probably why everything is so blurry since I took them off!) It always takes a while for my eyes to readjust from close work/reading so I hope it clears up soon.

Holly has been reading a lot lately and posts her book reviews on Goodreads. I haven't done that yet but I am getting excited about reading again. I haven't read much the last couple of years, so I have quite number of books stacked up waiting for me to read once the wedding is over. I hope that I can keep the TV off and start doing some creative activities as well as more reading. I didn't used to have a problem with too much TV but it sure seems that it has been my veg drug of choice this last year. I didn't turn it on today however(once Marvin went into the bedroom this afternoon), so tonight I had to go online to see who was booted off of American Idol. I was surprised by the choice. I really thought it would be Jason or Brooke, I usually vote on Tuesday but I didn't yesterday because I really feel that their isn't much competition for David Cook. He seems to be in a league of his own, He really is so much more accomplished. I have to agree with Simon when a week ago, Simon said that David Cook's performance was so good "it was like coming up out of Karyoke Hell" the professional (you could have recorded this performance) was such a contrast to the arrangements that the others did. Don't get me wrong, I like David A. and Brooke but they had the same opportunity to create a polished professional arrangement and their performances did seem thinner, less filled with that "total package" that Paula refers to. Well so much for AI fluff.

I am still thinking about the book I read today and I am just blown away knowing that the author was only 29 when she published her book and it wasn't even her first!! plus she has other accomplishments. What I had at 29 was 6 kids!! I'm not complaining I would not trade my children for anything, they have brought such joy into my life. And I am not dead yet and can still set goals. I just fight with my lifelong sedentary solitary habits.

Well my eyes are less blurry so I had better do a little something and then get to bed. Since I have been working the night shift for the last 8 months it's hard to get up early in the morning for orientation. I have to leave by 710 am which isn't all that early it just seems like it when you can't get to sleep at night cause your used to staying up. I will be working day shifts this week end and next week so I'll have to leave the house around 6 am to get to the unit where I am orienting. The only positive is that I will be traveling against the rush hour traffic to get there.

Day 4 of orientation

2008-04-17T19:28:00.001-07:00

Home from another day of orientation. 8-9 hours of sitting is tireing in and of itself, I am really happy to have an actual orientation and all the education and reminders of why and how we care for pts and their families. Today was the last day of "general orientation" and tomorrow I start an orientation specifically for inpatient nurses. I am supposed to attend two more full orientation days next week. HOWEVER, I am also "on call" for Jury duty nest week. Now instead of day of jury duty, you have to call in each evening to see if you are needed the next day for an entire week. I have no way of knowing whether I will be able to attend the orientation next week or if I will have to be downtown waiting to see if I get picked for a jury. I HOPE NOT. I really don't like confrontation!! And I don't want to have to be involved for days or weeks. I guess we don't have a choice though.

After work yesterday I went to Mesa and went not only to the temple to do a session but also to the visitor center where I viewed the Photographic exhibit "Reflections of Christ" I forgot the photographer's name but he was featured in the last Beehive newpaper. He is an Arizona photographer who came up with the idea of recreating Biblical scenes of Christ and/or stories and then photographing the scenes. It was all exceptionally well done, moving and actually looked a lot like paintings.

I'll sign out for now.

April 15, 2008

2008-04-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

Wow tax day and I acually did my taxes two weeks ago. I am sure glad that I did since I am working all days this week. 2nd day of orientation went well and I talked with Barbara briefly about my schedule which she is still "tweaking" because two of the shifts that she had available were on the same night so she is trying to get some one else to switch so that she will have two days for me.

I just watched American Idol and still really like David Cook. I'm sorry to say that I am pretty bored with Brooke. It seems she just has one niche and while I do like her sound, It just doesn't have much variety. In fact, I'm pretty bored with everyone except David Cook. I will admit after moaning for weeks about why Kristy Lee Cook wasn't eliminated, she has surprised me the last two weeks and has shown the most improvement.

Susie is writing a paper and so I'm going to free up the computer for her so good night and sweet dreams to all my family.

1st day of work/orientation

2008-04-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day with Hospice of the Valley. It was day one of general orientation. What a contrast so far, while HOV is mindful of cost and spending, the focus so far has been on the patient and family and HOV's commitment to 100% satisfaction rather than always "the bottom line" (at my previous hospice verbally we were told the pt came first but the pressure was always on cost. Tomorrow is also general orientation and then Wed, and Thur. will be nursing specific and Friday, inpatient specific. I am hopeful that I can find joy and satisfaction in this position.

Next week I am on-call for jury duty, I have to call in each evening to see if I need to go in the next day. I hope that I can still get my 3 days of orientation in on the unit.

Today I recieved my "How-To" book for working with my Adobe Photoshop elements program. Now to A. find the time to practice and learn and B. figure out why all the new programs don't load/work correctly on my computer.
I had also ordered a trilogy book which I had read and completely and throughly enjoyed appx 30 years ago. It is called "Kristen Lavernsdatter" by Sigred Unsted. It won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1927. I have never forgotten the impact that this book had on me and I had been wanting to reread it so I had been thinking about it and looked for it on Amazon and low and behold there it was!! I'm afraid it will have to wait until after the wedding but then....don't look for me for a week as it is over 1100 pages long in small print.

Last week I also succumbed to one of those 1/2 hour paid programming commercials and I ordered one of those weight loss programs that is always being advertised and it arrived today also. I'm sure that Marvin will have plenty to say to me about getting two packages today!! It will cost the same as I have been paying to the gym that I have gone to a total of 4 times and will be paid for in 6 months and not be never ending payments. So I am cancelling the gym and will see if Michael Thurman can motivate me. I'm hopeing that with the change in jobs and in emotional outlook I will find new determination to increase my activity and decrease my intake.

I need to go to bed so I can be bright eyed for orientation tomorrow. So Good Night.

Stake conference

2008-04-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was general conference and then this weekend was stake conference and while we didn't have any general authorities visit we had some inspiring talks. I wanted to share some of what inspired me. Last night's session had a general theme of the importance of families. One story really stood out to me, it was from a talk by Suzanne Smith.

"There was a kind merchant who was traveling by foot to a distant city. Around his neck he had secured his funds, seven gold coins which he had strung onto a string. After traveling most of the day, he came upon poor man who was begging at the side of the road. The good merchant took pity on the begger and took from his neck the gold coins and gave the man six of his gold coins. The compassionate merchant then continued on his way with his remaining one coin. After traveling all day, the merchant was exhausted and as the shadows deepened the merchant lay down under a tree at the side of the road to rest. While he slept the begger came upon the merchant and finding him asleep, stealthily stole the merchant's last gold coin".

When she finished this story, I felt violated, how could someone who was the recipient of such overwhelming generousity from a kind benefactor be so unfeeling as to then turn around steal the man's last coin.

She then said, imagine then that God was the merchant and the coins are time. The Lord has given us six days to use as we will and has only kept one day. We however have stolen that last day as well. She continued to share the importance of keeping the sabbath day holy. She reviewed the history, and the emphasis placed upon it by the Lord. She shared some general guidelines about what should or shouldn't be done on the sabbath and especially how to help children honor the sabbath.

This morning, the topics were varied. One that stuck with me was given by the Temple President. He of course talked about the blessings of temple attendence. He told that there are two blessings attached to temple attendence and that if we were just coming to the temple and not researching and bringing our own family names to the temple that we were missing half of the blessings which we could be recieving. During his talk I really did feel the desire to be more diligent in going to the temple, and I thought about how I had planned in the past to attend once a week and how that had all gone by the wayside, (especially in this last year) He said that only 14 people from out stake were temple workers and that he thought there should be at least 50. I hope that I can overcome whatever it has been that has kept me so immobile and that I can start attending regularly again.

Susie and Micah got back late last night from Tucson, Susie says that the photo session was amazing!! She is so excited. I haven't got to see any of the pics yet as they only brought back a couple on a disc because his cousin shoots in RAW and still needs to Photoshop the rest. And for whatever reason, we couldn't get them to come up on my computer so Susie went to print them. (Micah did view them on his computer so I know the disc works) In the meantime, if anyone is interested, I did get Micah's cousin--the photographer's website address so if you want to look at some of their work, you can check it out at www.Pangburnphotography.com

Susie and Micah

2008-04-12T11:46:00.001-07:00

Here are some of the pictures I took this morning of Susie and Micah. They are going to Tucson today to visit with his cousin and his professional Photographer wife. I give you a link to her website when Susie gets back. I have been on it before but can't remember what it was. She is really very talented. Anyhow, I got them to slow down for 5 mins so I could snap a few shots myself. I really need to learn about the lighting thing as it was very bright outside and so there was a lot of squinting going on.

More pictures

2008-04-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

HI, This is an adendum to the previous post. Susie got home so I took a few pictures of her and of the flowergirl dress. I couldn't remember how to turn off the flash so the lighting certainly isn't right but you can get the idea. The tiara is for my little flowergirl granddaughter to wear. That's it for me tonight

April 11,2008

2008-04-11T19:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I managed to add some pictures to my blog but now I need to learn how to put them where I want them with text, rather than all at the front. This is a series of pictures of my youngest dtr who I told you had been diagnosed with ovarian CA last year. The first Pic was taken about 6 months before the cancer was found. The next is a picture of her after the surgery and just before she started chemo. She went and got her hair cut shorter, the plan was to keep going shorter over the first weeks of chemo so that by the time her hair fell out it would be less of a shock. The next picture was taken the day before her hair fell out. She had gotten her hair cut the day before and came home and was so depressed but the next day she got up and fixed her hair and when she went to the store she had a guy really check her out, and another stranger complemented her on her cute hair style so she felt much better but then the next slide shows where she went over the next week!!! The final slide is one of her three wigs, this is the brown one. the 6th pic is Micah with the brown wig. following is her long blonde wig and her short blonde wig. It took a while but she finally thought it was fun and easy since she didn't have to spend all that time fixing her hair anymore. I don't have a current picture of my BEAUTIFUL radiant golden dtr of today with her sassy curly hair but will post one soon. Maybe when she comes in tonight I can catch a shot for you.

(This was how I started this blog but after i added the pictures I added a paragraph to explain the pictures) I really did finish the flowergirl dress last night. It has been so long since I sewed and because I'm so unorganized, I couldn't find the zipper foot for my sewing machine--it was late and I was committed to finishing so I hand sewed the zipper into the dress. I am going to try and figure out how to post a picture of the dress. We are still going to do a few more things to it. The bridesmaid's dresses have a gather on the hem which then shows the netting underneath so I guess we will also gather up several areas around the hem so the flouncy undernetting will show. I love all of the blogs with so many posted pictures and I bought a new camera last year and have not taken many pictures yet or even learned how to use it. I also bought a Adobe photoshop elements 6 program (I didn't feel that I could afford Photoshop CS or that I am ready for that yet.) I have not even experimented with it yet. I have some problems with my computer, and when I load new programs or try to download, I keep getting an error message and I can't get to the program from the Icon I have to go in another way. Then when I am working or looking around in it often I will get an error message and the program just closes. It is frustrating. i upgraded my internal memory and bought an external harddrive so I thought that I would be OK but I am pretty illiterate when it comes to computers. I did just order a Scott Kelby how to manual for the Elements program which should arrive next week. I am getting excited about learning new things and taking some great pictures. My biggest problem is that all of my children are grown, and most of my grandchildren moved out of state, so I don't have the subjects available that I want to take pictures of. I really do not care enough about Susie's dog to focus on him and Susie is always busy, working, going to school and seeing Micah to do any serious picture taking. I don't have a macro lens to take pictures of flowers/bugs/water drops etc. So the camera just sits. Well I am going to try and post a picture and if I am successful, I will take a picture of the dress and post it.

Time Flies

2008-04-10T15:21:00.000-07:00

Even though I READ blogs everyday (my cousin's: Constant, Growing, Amazement and Confessions of a Pioneer Woman--who both are wonderful daily bloggers), I just seem to have lost my muse when it comes to blogging myself. This spring though I feel like the light is starting to come back into my life and I am coming up out a full year of shadow.
A year and a half ago, the company I was working for sold our division to a new company. The feelings of disenfranchisement and loss that accompanied the handling of the sale was huge. We were not told even of any negotiations until after it was a done deal. They called us to a mandatory meeting and said "as of yesterday you no longer work for this company, your benefits will end at the end of the month and you are ineligible to reapply to this company for a period of 6 months". Now most of us worked for this company because of the great benefits and opportunities for work. If you were tired of one position, look for another in a different area! It had a pension plan, most of us had worked for this company for years, and some were approaching retirement, we were very loyal employees and had planned to retire from this company. But now we were out! The new company would hire most of us (except some office and auxiliary staff) so we did have a job. But we felt betrayed and the poor local company that was set to encorporate, train and support us had also been in the dark of their out-of-state parent company's plans of expansion, therefore it was a suprise to them as well and to say the least, they were not prepared to accomplish all of what that meant on a moments notice. There was no transition plan no benefit people to talk to, no orientation,So we lived in complete ignorance of what and how we were supposed to carry on. So we just did our best to take care of the needs of our patients and continued to use our own paperwork. This limbo carried on for two months at which time they came into our facility and took away every form/paper with the SH logo, replaced it with their forms and left. We had no idea how to fill out all of this new paperwork, and all we could do was do our best but there was a lot of complaints from the home teams and when the in house auditors came 00-la-la were we a mess, finally our old manager called some lateral staff from another unit to come and show us what to do since management had not deemed it neccessary to orient us. It was a stressful time. Then our old manager decided she could not do what they asked her to do (since again she had no job training/no explanation of expectations/no orientation in fact what we heard from several people was "just do your best and when you screw up they'll let you know!) and asked me to apply for and take over her position as manager. I had not considered a management position as I really do want to do my job and then go home and live my life. But when I prayed about it, a very clear answer was that I was supposed to accept. I was shocked!! My husband kept asking me why did I want to do something for which I would work more and make less. I had no answer except that it would be like being in school and when I had a couple of years of management under my belt then I could take that experience to a company where I would make more. The job was requiring 50-60 hours a week and I still couldn't get it all done. I was "on call" 24/7 except for a few weekends when another manager would take the call. I worked 36 hours straight several times when a night nurse called off. And the really crappy part was that since I was salaried I didn't get paid for doing it!! Of course the retoric is that I was supposed to take the next day off which is bullcrap because if I couldn't get the job done even if I worked overtime, how could I do it by taking a day off! and an 8 hour day does not make up for a 12 hr nightshift.
There certainly were many aspects of the job that I enjoyed, I loved being behind the scenes providing the support that allowed my staff to do their jobs, I liked meetings and teaching, I liked having an office, and I even liked paperwork to some extent. But I did not like that I didn't know what was expected of me, I didn't like having a sword hanging over my head knowing that one day, someone would say "I need to see your ________" and I would say "my what?" and they would say "you know, your mandatory monthly/quarterly/annually/ blah blah blah!!" My only defense would be (A) don't know what a __________is and (B)nobody told me I needed to be doing _______!" It had begun to seem that every week, I would learn of some other thing that I was supposed to be doing/recording/monitoring/auditing that I didn't know about. After accepting the position but before I was officially in the position. I told several people in management that my biggest fear was that "The day to come when everyone just assumes and accepts me as the manager and I still hadn't been trained." AND IT CAME TRUE!! Now to my own culpability in this, I did have a couple of large binders in my office that held the COP's, Medicare regulations, policies and procedures, and unit manager guidelines and I carried them home many a night, I just could not find the time to study them.
At the same time as all of this, my beautiful 21 year old daughter was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She underwent major surgery to remove a 5 pound tumor and her left ovary and fallopian tube, followed by chemotherapy. She was absolutely amazing through the entire process and only rarely complained. She was incredibly brave and upbeat and really showed us a side of her that (as the baby of the family and someone who quite honestly was most concerned with her looks) had been hidden. She supported all of us and made the whole episode less heartbreaking by her upbeat and cheerful attitude. But regardless it did contribute to the shadow that I have living under the past year.
After 8 months as the manager, I called it quits and asked to be transferred back to the floor as a staff nurse. I took a night position, because it was the opening that was available and it paid a night differential so I could make more money. The transition for me was smooth enough but the next manager came in and shook things up and then left after 6 weeks to move to CA. (though I do think she would have been a good manager and those she fired did have problems) Then the next manager was a nightmare. She lasted for 3-4 months and then the company did a big reorganization a lot of people were let go and they closed 2 units, and she was one who was gone. Our new manager is nice enough but through all of this there has been an undercurrent of anxiety, tension, unrest. Since I worked nights I was spared from a lot of it but it was still there. That coupled with having to work with some difficult staff (a very negative person and a drama queen who for what ever reason seemed to escalate issues rather than defuse) them made for an uncomfortable working environment. I began--after two back to back weekends of issues caused by these coworkers--to feel unsafe both professionally and physically. I was just keeping my mouth shut but inwardly I was upset and then like a dove landing on my shoulder I recieved a spiritual confirmation and release, I was told that it was OK to leave this toxic environment. While I was relieved, I now had to face again the question "what do you want do when you grow up?" do you want to go back to hospital nursing? perhaps labor and delivery and work on the other end of life's spectrum? or change to another hospice? I started checking out available posted positions on the internet and did not immediately find any that fit what I was looking for. I worked another week which was pretty uneventful and then came down sick for a week, the next week, I recieved a call from my old manager who now works for the hospice I was planning on applying to, and she stated that they were going to open a new facility and were looking for nurses (they had not had any open inpatient positions available when I checked online). She set a time for me to meet with her the next week and the following week I met with the HR person and accepted a position with them. It is pretty much a lateral move, they will take me at my present pay but I will lose senority and a week of PLT time annually. I will be starting orientation next week YEA ORIENTATION!! I have asked to be placed in an older unit close to my home, rather than 10-11 miles away where the new unit is going to be, so I will be joining a team that is already established. I just hope they are not too cliqueish and will accept me as a friend and fellow coworker. If I want though, I can transfer to the new unit when it opens if this doesn't seem like the right fit for me.
Of course there were other things going on in my life which may have contributed to this dark immobilizing cloud this past year but I am so glad to be coming out of it.
I need to close now, my now recovered youngest dtr. is getting married next month so there is a lot that needs done for that as well. I need to get off of the computer and finish the flowergirl's dress. I can't believe myself--first that I have put off making it for two months despite having all the materials and pattern and now that I have drug it out to be a three day thing rather than a one day event. (I really don't have that much left to do but you know those zippers are always intimidating!)

My memories of age 5-10 year old activities

2007-09-06T12:24:00.000-07:00

Hello, again, I know it has been a long time since I even thought about posting but finally I am here again. If nothing else I will start by drawing a journal idea from my journalling jar and write a few words and maybe after a while the writing bug will infect me again. so today the subject is (drum roll please) "between the ages of 5-10 what were your favorite activities?
I was a huge daydreamer, I made up lots of stories with myself as the heroine. I liked to be alone (walking home from school, sitting up in a tree, or in the outhouse etc.) so I could talk out loud to my self while I made and told my stories. I was exquisitely embarrused when I was caught talking to myself. I'm sure I liked to watch TV, Rin-Tin-Tin, Lassie, Roy Rogers, Howdy Dowdy, and the spacerace rocket blastoffs. I was also an avid reader of Nancy Drew books. My brother and I would walk to the library at least once a week and check out our 4 allowed books and, in fact, spent one summer just reading, we would each read a book a day (it was somewhat of a competition--this was the summer between fourth and fifth grade) In school, on recess I would swing in swings, chase boys and roller skate. Once, our whole class got involved in a "war game" of sorts where there were two teams and lots of pretend shooting and dramatic death scenes. The girls were the nurses who had to crawl out under the fire or dash out dodging the bullets and touch all the wounded and dead so they would be healed and reborn to fight again. It was quite exciting!! In our home we played a lot of card and board games. Monopoly, Sorry, Clue and Chinese Checkers, along with card games of Gin Rummy, Hearts, Old Maid, Authors, and regular Rummy were popular with myself and my older brother Denver. I spent a lot of time roaming around the countryside dreaming and talking to myself (as I said before) but also looking for discarded pop bottles for me to collect and return for the deposits to buy penny candy. I was never a group of girlfriends kind of person, I was too content to just be by myself but I did have a best friend in Vickie S. I spent a lot of time with her at her house. She was a tiny petite girl and yet she was definately the boss in most of our play. I can remember asking her why we couldn't ever do it the way I wanted to!! I often went to her house to play for a while after school and then have that long walk home to my house where I dreamed and played out my stories. I could make that mile last a long-long time. I was good at telling time from looking at the position of the sun and suprised myself frequently by how close my guesstiment would be.--In those days, watches were expensive and were never given to children. My mother was involved with my younger brothers and sisters and trying to keep us all fed, clothed and sheltered so I remember being very independent. I don't remember any structure or chores, so for the most part I wandered at will and I still prefer to be alone and to read and dream. as an adult, I struggle to turn all my imaginative plans into accomplished deeds but rarely follow through to the end--I often am paralized by having demands put on me, even if they are my own demands.

Deanna sets goals! 101 in 1001

2006-05-18T18:15:00.000-07:00

Sorry I took so long to get back to a place where I can think about myself again. I have been reading several blogs and find so much creativity in them. It makes me doubt myself and my ability to write so creatively. BUT we have be asked to keep a journal. President Spencer W. Kimball said that Everyone should and can keep a journal and if we are not we should repent and start today. I know that I feel much closer to the grandmother who wrote her life story than the one who didn't, because, I can relate to her experiences and learn and share and laugh about them. Today I started this post because I want to start accomplishing something. Today's Latterday Light quote was from John Taylor and He asked if we were preparing and spreading out influence or just living our lives "Come day--Go day , just as it happens." And just last night I was introduced to the concept of 101 things in 1001 days. I have been thinking about that and I googled it and read a few lists. I realize that this could be either a fun way to motivate yourself or a depressing way to overwhelm yourself; so, I think I will think small and specific and make most of my goals easily obtainable so I can mark them off and build on that momentum of success to tackle the really big ones. I'm sure it will take me a while and several additions to get the list complete but I will start.

1. Lose 101 lbs. (This will probably be the biggest of the goals)
2. Finish my chapter synopsis/application journal of the Book of Mormon
3. Paint laundry room
4. Replace curtains and rod in Living room
5. Get rid of excess kitchen/dining stuff (Pots, pans plastic dishes etc)
6. Exercise 4 days a week for 1 month
7. Go to temple at least once a month for 1 year
8. Do a true fast with starting and ending prayers with a specific blessing in mind
9. Ponder on the beginning of the Book of Ether and what 16 tangible things I can "molten and ask the Lord to touch with his finger. What is the symbolism and how can it work in my life?
10. Clean off table by kitchen.
11. Climb squaw peak
12. Have 100% Visiting Teaching for 3 months in a row.
13. Find a gift for my mother and get it too her before her birthday
14. Stay in a Bed and Breakfast
15. Write an essay for my journal once a week for a month.
16. Stay home and not do any shopping for one week.
17. Write a children's book for each of my grandchildren
18. Go on a mission
19. Go to the temple once a week for three months
20. Seal my grandmother to her parents

The infamous "7 things" blog

2005-09-23T21:18:00.000-07:00

Recently I have read a number of blogs that have featured 7 things. So I thought I might make my own list. I figure I may reveal a few things about myself in the process.

7 things that scare me
* Making a mistake at work
* Being suepened in a lawsuit
* Seeing anyone standing at a ledge even if there is a rail
* Not being ready for the judgement day
* Being the cause of someone else's pain
* Being accountable for my life
* Getting Alzeimers (or any other dementias)

7 things that I like
* My family!!!
* When everything comes together to create a "perfect" family event
* Rasberries and cream
* Lilacs
* Garden benchs/gliders/rockers
* The scriptures
* Feather pillows

7 Important things in the room
* Photos of family
* Handcrafted wall art made by one of my daughters
* Wonderful wood working pieces by my dad
* A painting of Christ by my daughter
* The piano
* My scriptures
* Family history books

7 Random things about me
* I can be either invigorated by a deadline or paralized by one
* I'm glad I can support myself but would prefer to be supported
* I'm big and old but feel small and young
* I can't pass up a bargain whether I need it or not
* I can't hide my feelings because my rosey cheeks turn bright red
* I was once an A&W carhop
* I'm still married to my highschool sweetheart

7 Things I plan to do before I die
* Go on a mission
* Become fit
* Hike Squaw Peak and Zion National Park
* Take a walking tour of Ireland
* Learn to play the harp and/or violin
* Write a childrens book for each of my grandchildren
* Endure to the end

7 Things I can do
* Read and write fairly well
* Clean up body secretions, fluids, excretions without gagging
* Support myself and my family
* Sew (I'vemade bridesmaids dresses/flower girl dresses for 7 weddings)
* Play the piano adequately
* Prepare and give a talk in church and not be too nervous
* Collect piles of junk and walk by them and not even notice

7 Things I would not do
* Be a contestant on a reality show
* Be a surgical or ER nurse
* Be unfaithful
* Have cosmetic surgery or any surgery if I can help it (I've seen too many complications and infections)
* Wash new red shirts in a load of whites
* Pierce my body parts
* Get a tattoo

7 Things I say the most
* I meant to do that, but...
* I love you
* I'll talk to you later
* Don't worry, it will all work out.
* I need to get up off my behind and get busy
* Sorry about...
* "crap" (my favorite cuss word)

Techno Mama

2005-09-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

Today I have spent most of the day downloading music on to my mp3 player, exploring sites on the computer, and shopping, buying, and trying to figure out how to use my new digital camera. I will return to this post but my computer has the hiccups and I am envisioning me recieving incalucable numbers of cookies with each hiccup so I am going to exit and check it out. Of course if it does have a serious problem, that would be a good excuse to buy a new updated one!!! See you soon --- Two days later and as soon as I opened this post my computer is doing the same hic-cup thing. So, I am going to close this post but first, another techno update. I bought a home theater system yesterday and Brian came today and set it up. I can't wait to watch a movie and have it go boom! COOL!

What the "bleep"?

2005-09-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the DVD "What the 'Bleep' Do We (K)now!? A very thought provoking couple of hours. I was especially fascinated by the water experiments by Masaru Emoto and the pictures he took of water crystals. I also read a book last year (by an LDS author) about the particle/wave theory of light and how that can help us understand Christ as the Light of the world, and how emotions such as love can be a part of the spectrum of light. And, how we are connected to all things and can indeed be one with God and Christ. I want to reread that book and ponder again on the mysteries of the universe and of our Heavenly Father. I think of the statement of Nephi in 3rd Nephi that the ear hath not heard nor the eye seen nor can it even be written the things which they saw and heard that day when Christ visited the Nephites. This life is a time of learning. A time of gathering knowledge and subjegating the flesh and our will to the perfect plan of Our Father in Heaven. How short I fall daily in that quest. My prayers most often ask for help for Me! Me! Me! but I want to become the daughter who can say "What can I do for You today?". "How can I build Your Kingdom?" I know that I am a stronger and better person than when I started this adult life so many years ago. I do see growth, but I am now reaching an age where the time to change and be productive and of service is shortening. I need to prepare now to make a difference in this world. To be fully fitted with the armor of God and an active participant in His army---not just a whining child tugging at his cloak. When Elder Bednar was called to be an Apostle last fall I really felt that I had fallen short of my potential. He and I are approximately the same age and here he is an Apostle of God and I still feel like that whining child. Well, I am going to go write positive love notes onto my thighs and go to bed (you'll have to watch the movie to understand) Love to all!

Favorite Music

2005-07-31T20:59:00.000-07:00

While making my first attempt to join this century by becoming one of probably only a few grandmothers who have ventured into cyberspace blogging, I was forced to think about my favorite music by that innoculous little box on my profile site. I find it very difficult to define my tastes in music for they range from classical to Santana; haunting Celtic melodies to hillbilly twangs; and from testimony building inspirational songs to those undefinable preformers described as alternative. I suppose that if there were a CD entitled " The Mormon Tabernacle Choir featuring Enya and accompanied by Uncle Jim-Bob's Cajun Band on Temple Square, singing songs from a Green Day in the Appalachians" I would be on the waiting list to buy it!
My children, however, don't appreciate my musical tastes. If I excitedly coax them into the 'blue room' to listen to a selection that I am particularly fond of-- I get a "that's nice mom" cast over their shoulder as they escape out the door.